Tips on How to Treat Our Mothers

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” [Noble Quran 31:14]

They carried us in their wombs for nine months, then endured the pain of labor, and then nurtured us and did everything for us when we were helpless babies and children; they bear the teenage years with patience and advice. We hope this compilation of ways on how to treat our mothers will put a smile on the faces of your mothers, and let them know we have not forgotten what they go through.

1. Smile with a warm embrace.
2. Say thanks often.
3. Offer to wash up the dishes.
4. Make a cup of tea without her asking.
5. Recite her favorite surah.
6. Tidy round after she goes to bed, so that when she wakes up the house is tidy.
7. Buy her little ornaments for round the house so when she sees them she remembers you.
8. Rub her feet (after all, that's where paradise is)
9. Phone your mom just to tell her you love her.
10. Buy her surprise gifts.
11. Go to her when she calls you.
12. Write a poem for her.
13. If you're on the phone, and your mother is asking something tell the person to wait.
14. Cook for her.
15. Let her teach you to cook even if you know, she will enjoy the fact that you're coming to her to ask.
16. Bring your wife to her to learn how to cook, she will enjoy teaching her your favorite recipes, and both of you praise her cooking.
17. Clean the house without your mom having to ask.
18. Tell her how happy you are that she is a part of your life and your own families.
19. Always take your mother’s side in front of your wife over differing opinions; you can appease your wife later on out of sight.
20. Give her money to treat herself.
21. Make breakfast for her.
22. Do the shopping for her.
23. If your mother likes to shop, then be patient with her as she goes up and down the aisles.
24. Do your own washing and ironing.
25. Spread the salaam when you leave and return from the home.
26. Comb her hair.
27. Massage her shoulders.
28. Do well in school.
29. Pray all your prayers on time.
30. Help your younger siblings so she can put her feet up (rest).
31. Teach your younger siblings to also help around the house, a mother needs time for her Ibadah too; her Ibadah should not have to fit around housework all the time.
32. Look good and smell nice and be polite so that you're a good example of her upbringing.
33. Don't always have your mom waking you up for prayer; try to wake her up instead.
34. Help her with new technology, this stimulates her brain and keeps her mentally fit.
35. Take an interest in her hobbies. If it’s sewing, make sure she has all the things she needs. Ooo and ahhh, at her creations.
36. Listen to lectures together; watch programs together. This is what makes the bond stronger between you.
37. Take the garbage out and remember to bring them in, once they are emptied. This chore is something Muslim moms don't like as they have to cover themselves all up to take it out.
38. If affordable, try to buy her the best and freshest food at the supermarket.
39. Take her out for drives in the car, especially if you live in the city, take her to the countryside or go with the whole family and have a picnic.
40. When you drive, make sure you remember that there is a fragile vessel beside you, who would like to see what's out of the window rather than a blur because you're speeding.
41. Ask your mother about her youth, most mothers love recalling their past.
42. Be good to her relatives and her friends.
43. Name some of your children after her side of the family, as a lot of the time it's the dad who chooses the children's names.
44. Have a good relationship with your brothers and sisters; there is nothing more worrying to a mother than seeing her children at odds with one another.
45. Never raise your voice or speak in a harsh tone to your mother.
46. Tell her regularly what's going on in your life, don't let her hear your news from others.
47. Seek her opinion in all major decisions, she has been there and done that.
48. Always thank and praise her for the good job she has done over the years.
49. Kiss her when you go and come from the house.
50. Make du'a for her.
51. Always ask her to make Du'a for you and your family, this brings her closer to your family.
52. Call your mother if you're going to be late getting home.
53. Try not to stay out too late, as she will not sleep till you're safely inside.
54. Be patient when she is not feeling well, bring her all she needs, and go with her to the doctors so she has support.
55. Remind your mother to be a good Muslimah, and tell her heart softening stories and about paradise and hell.
56. Read Islamic books to her.
57. Whatever you learned in a gathering or class, share it with her.
58. Remind her to read Surah al-Kahf on Fridays.
59. Take her to the mosque if she wishes to go.
60. Make sure she has contact with other good sisters who will increase her Iman.
61. Take her to her friends yourself or arrange transport.
62. Invite her to your house on the weekend.
63. Take cooked food to her, to give her a rest.
64. Encourage her to do the Sunnah fasts, and then break fast with each other.
65. Know what makes your mother smile and do it often.
66. Be an active and a productive member of society. Mothers are happy when they see this.
67. Buy your mom flowers, the smell and prettiness of flowers do wonders.
68. Lead your mother and family in the Salah.
69. Get married and choose a spouse who your mother approves of.
70. Choose a wife who is soft hearted and will treat your mother well.
71. Don't put off jobs that need to be done around the house.
72. Remind her always of the traps of the Shaytan, remind her to do her daily Adkhars.
73. Choose your own friends wisely.
74. Pay for her to do Hajj and Umrah and go with her.
75. Don't remind her of how much you spent on her.
76. Look after her health, reminding her of the benefits of a good diet and some exercise.
77. Always ask your moms advice about your own household, this makes her happy and lets her know you value her opinion.
78. If there is any problem with your wife and mother, then never carry tales saying what the other said as most of that is done in anger.
79. Read Ruqya Ayat over water and give it to her to drink.
80. Buy her beauty products and perfumes.
81. Be there when there is any lifting to be done.
82. Let her listen and correct your mistakes when you're memorizing Quran.
83. Always intervene in any disputes between your parents calmly.
84. Give her some money from your salary every month, so she can save for something she wants to buy, or to give in charity.
85. Lay your head in each others lap, you might be 12 or 40 but in your mothers eyes you're still her child.
86. Give charity on her behalf regularly.
87. Give charity on behalf of her deceased relatives.
88. Buy her gold, women like it and it's an investment.
89. Listen to her complaints with understanding, and give her solutions that she can imply to make her life better.
90. Walk at her pace with her on the inside protected from the road.
91. If she wants to share what's in her glass with you, drink from the same side she drank from.
92. Just like children who need quality time, give this to your mother too.
93. Serve her first with food.
94. When you give her a drink, wait till she has finished then take away her glass.
95. Use affectionate terms for her and other motherly terms of affection.
96. When you see her doing something wrong, even in disobedience, treat her gently and with the utmost respect.
97. Always open the door for her.
98. Try to always speak in her mother tongue, and if your not then translate word for word, so she does not feel left out.
99. Remind her of the rights Islam has bestowed on the mother, and tell her good stories of how others treat their mothers.
100. Never cut your mother off when she is speaking, and be patient when she cuts you off.
101. Sit at her feet and listen to what she is saying.
102. Make her a large part of your grandchildren's lives; always bring them over to visit.
103. Teach your own children to respect their grandparents as well.
104. If you are in a class and you are unsure as to why your mom is calling then leave the class to answer the call.
105. When you're angry with each other, don't leave the house, and don't refuse her food, or any attempts your mother makes to make amends, try to be the first one to defuse the situation.
106. Always knock on her bedroom door before entering.
107. Don't enter into debates that you know will irritate each other, especially in the morning
and at night.

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

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