Good Deed #11- Be Kind to Your Parents

1. “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’ “(17:23-24).
2. “We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)” (31:14-15).
3. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).
4. It is narrated on the authority of Abdullah bin Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him), who observed: “I asked Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) which deed was the best.” He (the Holy Prophet) replied: ‘The Prayer at its appointed hour.’ I (again) asked: “Then what?” He (the Holy Prophet) replied: ‘Kindness to the parents.’ I (again) asked: “Then what?” He replied: ‘Earnest struggle in the cause of Allah (jihad).’ I refrained from asking any more questions for fear of annoying him. (Sahih Muslim: 120)

Action plan

Rights of parents:
1. You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.
2. Respect and honor them in your speech and dealings with them.
3. Obey them in permissible acts.
4. If they are in need of money, assist them even if they are non Muslim.
5. The following rights are due to parents after their death:
a. Continue making duas of forgiveness and mercy for them. Continue sending rewards to them in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.
b. Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way and also assist them wherever possible.
c. If you have the finances, fulfill their unpaid debts and the permissible bequests that they have made.
6. According to the Shariah, the rights of the paternal and maternal grandparents are similar to those of the parents and they should be regarded as such.
Source: Haq Islam

7. If you embarking on anything important, ask your parents advice and permission.
8. Always be patient with parents as difficult as it can be at times.
9. Ask parents for forgiveness.
10. Always ask your parents to make dua for you and always remember them in your duas.
11. Please try and avoid by all means sending parents to the old age homes or nursing homes in their old age when they are in need of your love and support the most.

Source: http://1000gooddeeds.com/2009/08/31/good-deed-11-be-kind-to-your-parents/