Showing posts with label Muslims in Society- Youth (teens). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muslims in Society- Youth (teens). Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
My Personal Thoughts on Issues (Muslim) Teens Face
There are a lot of issues that teens have to go through (especially being a Muslim in the West), not just the one I mentioned about girl-guy relationships and such. But, this is a big one I noticed which is why I included it with so much info. I couldn't find anything talking about more than one problem so below are some issues I came up with in no particular order of importance.
~Lack of interest in Islamic knowledge and practicing Islam correctly
"I'll take the time out to learn about Islam and practice later in life when I'm older and had some "fun". Well, who guaranteed you a long life that you will be able to repent for a life full of sins and just because you were "born Muslim" doesn't mean you have a space reserved in Heaven. You have to work for it and NOW is the time to change before it is too late!
~Music addiction
Excessive listening to music and keeping up with the useless facts about the lives of singers, rappers, performers, etc.
~Peer pressure
Trying to fit in with the crowd and being popular or just getting (bad) attention. A lot of time, money, and energy is wasted in trying to impress people who don't care about who you really are but how well and far you will go to copy them, whether it is fashion, looks, behavior, attitude, relationships, etc.
~Violence
ex. gangs
~Drugs
It's "cool." More like disgusting, dangerous, and a waste of time, money, and a life!
~Parent-teen relationship
Lack of respect from children for elders, especially their parents, and lack of understanding and communication from parents for their children's situation and the difficulties of being a Muslim teen in America. Give us a break and try to understand!
~Identity confusion
"Am I more or less of xxx (nationality), American, Muslim...?"
~Islam vs. culture
Confusion of Islam mixed with culture and picking and choosing "buffet style" what to practice and believe. This is usually picked up from elders and shows how much of an impact elders do have on young people, especially parents and their kids. More about this will be added later in my blog inshAllah.
~Lack of interest in Islamic knowledge and practicing Islam correctly
"I'll take the time out to learn about Islam and practice later in life when I'm older and had some "fun". Well, who guaranteed you a long life that you will be able to repent for a life full of sins and just because you were "born Muslim" doesn't mean you have a space reserved in Heaven. You have to work for it and NOW is the time to change before it is too late!
~Music addiction
Excessive listening to music and keeping up with the useless facts about the lives of singers, rappers, performers, etc.
~Peer pressure
Trying to fit in with the crowd and being popular or just getting (bad) attention. A lot of time, money, and energy is wasted in trying to impress people who don't care about who you really are but how well and far you will go to copy them, whether it is fashion, looks, behavior, attitude, relationships, etc.
~Violence
ex. gangs
~Drugs
It's "cool." More like disgusting, dangerous, and a waste of time, money, and a life!
~Parent-teen relationship
Lack of respect from children for elders, especially their parents, and lack of understanding and communication from parents for their children's situation and the difficulties of being a Muslim teen in America. Give us a break and try to understand!
~Identity confusion
"Am I more or less of xxx (nationality), American, Muslim...?"
~Islam vs. culture
Confusion of Islam mixed with culture and picking and choosing "buffet style" what to practice and believe. This is usually picked up from elders and shows how much of an impact elders do have on young people, especially parents and their kids. More about this will be added later in my blog inshAllah.
A Muslim Girl's Guide for Dealing with Guys
Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender. Here, from one sister to another, is a Muslim girl's guide for how to deal with guys.
No Touching
Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram (Mahram is your dad, brothers, father-in-law, husbands, grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender.
That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that. If you're in a difficult situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best things to do is just smile and say, “My people don’t shake hands” and then explain why. And why is because we believe a woman's touch is a privilege and she doesn't just share it with anyone.
No Flirting
Not even with Muslims, not even in an Islamic school, especially not in a masjid! Flirting means that you're saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. There's no set criterion for what flirting is, but any girl knows what it is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average woman, who has to be beautiful for all the men around her all the time, who are trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise dude once said, "Don't start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass."
If you don't want a guy's advances, then don't do anything to earn them. There's no point in throwing yourself all over guys and trying to seduce half the world. You really only want to marry one guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and chances are he isn't going to be some dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
No Boyfriends
As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina (fornication). Fornication, in easy English, means `sexual sin.' Allah expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against that rule, then you get the typical western society where people play sexual merry-go-round with each other, giving each other STDs, using and abusing each other, and destroying the sacredness of marriage as an institution.
You can't even be sort of engaged to a guy, and then "date" to get to know each other. In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren't allowed to be alone together (that includes talking on the phone!), to touch (not even shake hands), or even gaze at each other. It doesn't matter if the guy you like is Muslim, a great guy and the Prince of England, you can't date him.
No Boy—friends
The easiest way to ensure that you don't end up falling in love with some guy before you're ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to interact with boys all over the place, but that doesn't mean you should be best buds with them. Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances are you're not ready for marriage, your parents aren't ready to let you get married, you're still in school/college and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from needless temptation.
When you have to talk to boys in school as teammates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it's best to maintain a distance. That means that you don't confide in them, you don't let down your guard, you don't unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don't joke around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your afterlife we're talking about.
So many great sisters have put themselves in really sticky situations because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. Once that happens, you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM), or having to end your friendship.
Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a friendship that you probably worked hard on cultivating, you should just stop it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think only a guy will understand your problem, then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.
No Talking on the Phone with Boys
In Islam it’s forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means, with no one there to watch you guys except shaitaan, then you might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or just stare at each other all lustily. With that in mind, it's also a safe bet to assume that talking on the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because unless you've both got it on speaker-phone and you're chaperoned by a responsible person, then you're still kind of "alone" with him.
The people in your house can't hear what he's saying to you, and his family can't hear what you're saying to him. There's a chance for some bad stuff then, so just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear that no one else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it's just too intimate.
Be Disaffected
What does that mean? Disaffected means “unaffectable.” That means that nothing a dude can say can hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an airplane looking down on the scenery below.
You're a little interested in what's going on down there, and it may look really nice, but you know that to get to the scenery you have to jump off the plane. Like the scenery miles below you, the guy may look really nice, but you know that to get him you have to jump off the plane (commit spiritual suicide), and though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground 600 meters below and go splat– on Judgment Day, maybe even sooner.
Short of becoming an ice-princess, being disaffected involves putting up a mental wall between you and all of male-kind. They don't know your thoughts and you don't care for theirs. You can interact with guys at school/college within the bounds of Islam, but always maintain a formal distance.
Don't ask a guy how his infected toe is doing. Don't give him a hug when he looks down. Don't offer to help him with his homework. Don't go out of your way to remind him that you exist, and that you're not half bad looking. Even if you don't feel like behaving, make yourself behave anyway, your afterlife is important enough to discipline yourself for.
The safest philosophy when dealing with guys is remembering this, "He's not what I want, so why should I do anything to make him interested in me? That'll just make for a painfully awkward situation and it's not worth the sin anyhow."
Remember that you're always being watched! Would you act all giggly and stupid with boys if the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) could see you? No, right? Because you'd feel like an ungrateful idiot for disregarding the religion that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) took so much pain for just to deliver to you. Well, imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you all the time, and it's really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah prescribed, the favors He's bestowed upon you. How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to (like goggle at boys)? How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it!
You have no secrets! Not because Big Brother is watching you, but because every single thing you ever did will become public domain on the Day of Judgment, and you'll be brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don't do anything that you wouldn't want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole world to know about, ok?
GIRLS BEWARE PLEASE... IT IS SERIOUS! HELP YOURSELF
It has recently been found out that there are some spammers present on Orkut, hi5, MSN or Yahoo! profiles etc who download the Photographs of Girls from their Profile and they get 5 cent per photograph. These photographs are later sent into Image Editors like Photoshop where they are morphed and superimposed on the images of Porn Stars.
These people are so expert in this field that the photographs looks completely real and anyone can get deceived by generated images. These photographs are then used for multiple purposes like Printing in International Magazines, Uploading on paid Porn Sites and sometimes even blackmailing. And the post consequences are a known fact. So after knowing about this fact my advice to all sisters of my brothers here to please remove their photo's from Orkut, hi5 [MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, etc.] and other places and don't give the culprits a chance to play around with you.
Source: IslamWay Sisters Forum
No Touching
Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram (Mahram is your dad, brothers, father-in-law, husbands, grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender.
That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that. If you're in a difficult situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best things to do is just smile and say, “My people don’t shake hands” and then explain why. And why is because we believe a woman's touch is a privilege and she doesn't just share it with anyone.
No Flirting
Not even with Muslims, not even in an Islamic school, especially not in a masjid! Flirting means that you're saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. There's no set criterion for what flirting is, but any girl knows what it is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average woman, who has to be beautiful for all the men around her all the time, who are trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise dude once said, "Don't start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass."
If you don't want a guy's advances, then don't do anything to earn them. There's no point in throwing yourself all over guys and trying to seduce half the world. You really only want to marry one guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and chances are he isn't going to be some dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
No Boyfriends
As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina (fornication). Fornication, in easy English, means `sexual sin.' Allah expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against that rule, then you get the typical western society where people play sexual merry-go-round with each other, giving each other STDs, using and abusing each other, and destroying the sacredness of marriage as an institution.
You can't even be sort of engaged to a guy, and then "date" to get to know each other. In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren't allowed to be alone together (that includes talking on the phone!), to touch (not even shake hands), or even gaze at each other. It doesn't matter if the guy you like is Muslim, a great guy and the Prince of England, you can't date him.
No Boy—friends
The easiest way to ensure that you don't end up falling in love with some guy before you're ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to interact with boys all over the place, but that doesn't mean you should be best buds with them. Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances are you're not ready for marriage, your parents aren't ready to let you get married, you're still in school/college and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from needless temptation.
When you have to talk to boys in school as teammates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it's best to maintain a distance. That means that you don't confide in them, you don't let down your guard, you don't unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don't joke around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your afterlife we're talking about.
So many great sisters have put themselves in really sticky situations because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. Once that happens, you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM), or having to end your friendship.
Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a friendship that you probably worked hard on cultivating, you should just stop it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think only a guy will understand your problem, then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.
No Talking on the Phone with Boys
In Islam it’s forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means, with no one there to watch you guys except shaitaan, then you might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or just stare at each other all lustily. With that in mind, it's also a safe bet to assume that talking on the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because unless you've both got it on speaker-phone and you're chaperoned by a responsible person, then you're still kind of "alone" with him.
The people in your house can't hear what he's saying to you, and his family can't hear what you're saying to him. There's a chance for some bad stuff then, so just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear that no one else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it's just too intimate.
Be Disaffected
What does that mean? Disaffected means “unaffectable.” That means that nothing a dude can say can hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an airplane looking down on the scenery below.
You're a little interested in what's going on down there, and it may look really nice, but you know that to get to the scenery you have to jump off the plane. Like the scenery miles below you, the guy may look really nice, but you know that to get him you have to jump off the plane (commit spiritual suicide), and though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground 600 meters below and go splat– on Judgment Day, maybe even sooner.
Short of becoming an ice-princess, being disaffected involves putting up a mental wall between you and all of male-kind. They don't know your thoughts and you don't care for theirs. You can interact with guys at school/college within the bounds of Islam, but always maintain a formal distance.
Don't ask a guy how his infected toe is doing. Don't give him a hug when he looks down. Don't offer to help him with his homework. Don't go out of your way to remind him that you exist, and that you're not half bad looking. Even if you don't feel like behaving, make yourself behave anyway, your afterlife is important enough to discipline yourself for.
The safest philosophy when dealing with guys is remembering this, "He's not what I want, so why should I do anything to make him interested in me? That'll just make for a painfully awkward situation and it's not worth the sin anyhow."
Remember that you're always being watched! Would you act all giggly and stupid with boys if the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) could see you? No, right? Because you'd feel like an ungrateful idiot for disregarding the religion that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) took so much pain for just to deliver to you. Well, imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you all the time, and it's really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah prescribed, the favors He's bestowed upon you. How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to (like goggle at boys)? How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it!
You have no secrets! Not because Big Brother is watching you, but because every single thing you ever did will become public domain on the Day of Judgment, and you'll be brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don't do anything that you wouldn't want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole world to know about, ok?
GIRLS BEWARE PLEASE... IT IS SERIOUS! HELP YOURSELF
It has recently been found out that there are some spammers present on Orkut, hi5, MSN or Yahoo! profiles etc who download the Photographs of Girls from their Profile and they get 5 cent per photograph. These photographs are later sent into Image Editors like Photoshop where they are morphed and superimposed on the images of Porn Stars.
These people are so expert in this field that the photographs looks completely real and anyone can get deceived by generated images. These photographs are then used for multiple purposes like Printing in International Magazines, Uploading on paid Porn Sites and sometimes even blackmailing. And the post consequences are a known fact. So after knowing about this fact my advice to all sisters of my brothers here to please remove their photo's from Orkut, hi5 [MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, etc.] and other places and don't give the culprits a chance to play around with you.
Source: IslamWay Sisters Forum
7 Prom Tips For Teens by Sound Vision staff writer
You've resigned yourself to the fact that you aren't going to the prom. It took a lot of heated discussion with your parents and Muslim friends, self-searching and emotional wrestling, but you've finally made that decision: you're not going.
If only it were that easy.
Now, your non-Muslim school friends are upset and can't understand why you wouldn't want to be part of the wildest bash of the century (at least that's what your friend on the prom committee said it's going to be). Even though they know you don't date, drink, do drugs, etc. they are still trying to pressure you to come.
Below are some tips and suggestions about how you can deal with prom pressure
Tip #1: Be firm
"I had to be very firm and have a very forward opinion on it," says Amber Rehman, 21, about telling her friends she was not going to participate in the prom. "If I let myself, I could have been persuaded.
"You have to keep in perspective that you're a servant of Allah and Allah has placed great nobility, if you protect yourself from these things," she adds.
Your strength and clarity about not going will take some time to sink in, but it will eventually give your friends a clear message: nothing they say or do will change your mind.
But it should also be made clear that this is not a personal insult aimed at them. You are simply trying to maintain your Islamic principles, and you would not be able to do that in a prom environment, that's all. You and they can still play baseball, go shopping or hiking, but the prom is just one activity, which you'll have to skip.
Tip #2: Plan an alternative
"We need to see Islam as a cool alternative, not a loser alternative," says Shaema Imam, 22.
While the prom may seem hard to beat, there are alternatives out there. It requires creativity and intelligence.
After getting over the initial shock and disappointment of not going to the prom, go to Plan B. Get a couple of your friends who are not going to the prom together and plan some Halal fun. Contrary to popular belief, the possibilities are endless.
"For the brothers, if you have hockey [or any sport] they'll come," says Ali Shayan, 21, of Ottawa, Canada.
Sports are almost always a favorite for brothers. Think about it: while the guys at the prom are sweating it out in uncomfortable, expensive tuxedos and making almost complete fools of themselves on the dance floor, you could be skillfully honing your athletic talent in comfortable clothes with your non-prom friends, looking cool and really dignified.
For sisters, you could throw an all-sisters party at your place. Have all the fun of a prom party minus the Islamically questionable elements. Get dressed up, made up and revved up for a night of Halal fun.
Tip #3: Plan early
The sooner you decide not to go to the prom, the better. This will give you more time to plan your alternative.
If a small party in your basement is way too simple to satisfy the prom urge, plan a really fancy one with the works: fancy hotel, lush carpets, nice dresses, etc. Except this will be only a mother-daughter affair. Or a father-son affair.
You can get those older rich brothers and sisters in the community to help you out with the funding. After all, you would be doing their kids (if they have any in their teens) a favor too.
If you're living in a small community with few Muslims, planning in advance will give you the time to get in touch with a nearby Muslim community a few miles away. This way you can still spend prom night with fellow Muslims, even if you're community is small or apathetic.
Tip #4: Hook up with the MSAs
Muslim Students' Associations (MSAs) play a very important role.
They should be one of key institutions in the community organizing activities. And since they are made up of young people, they should be involved with organizing a Muslim youth awards ceremony, for instance.
The advantage of hooking up with the MSAs is that you have better access to funds and spaces to hold activities. As well, you would have the guidance of brothers and sisters who may have gone through the prom pressure experience themselves.
Tip #5: Hang out with your family
It may sound strange to do this when the prom is about being with your friends. But think about it. For many, this could be one of the last happy occasions you have with your family before moving away for college.
Prom night isn't just about you finishing high school. It should also be a tribute to your parents for helping you through the experience, whether it was by taking care of your basic necessities, helping you with homework or paying for expenses.
Use the money you were going to spend on a limousine, dress/tuxedo, or tickets to the prom and spend it on your family, just to spend time with them.
Tip #6: Don't become arrogant because you didn't go
While it does require strength for many Muslim youth to say no to the prom and similar activities, this is no excuse to look down on those who do not have that strength yet. The Prophet Muhammad, (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "No one who has an atom's weight of pride in his heart will enter the Garden (Paradise)." A man said, "And if the man likes his clothes to be good and his sandals to be good?" He said, "Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means to renounce the truth and abase people" (Muslim).
It is by Allah's Will and Mercy that you were able to resist going. Pray that your brothers and sisters are able to do the same.
Tip #7: Encourage others not to go
By doing this, not only will you be helping others, but you will also have more people in on an alternative to the prom.
Do this even after someone has gone to the prom. Often times, people realize something is wrong after the fact. Discuss the issue with sincerity, wisdom and kindness.
Source: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/prom/7tips.asp
If only it were that easy.
Now, your non-Muslim school friends are upset and can't understand why you wouldn't want to be part of the wildest bash of the century (at least that's what your friend on the prom committee said it's going to be). Even though they know you don't date, drink, do drugs, etc. they are still trying to pressure you to come.
Below are some tips and suggestions about how you can deal with prom pressure
Tip #1: Be firm
"I had to be very firm and have a very forward opinion on it," says Amber Rehman, 21, about telling her friends she was not going to participate in the prom. "If I let myself, I could have been persuaded.
"You have to keep in perspective that you're a servant of Allah and Allah has placed great nobility, if you protect yourself from these things," she adds.
Your strength and clarity about not going will take some time to sink in, but it will eventually give your friends a clear message: nothing they say or do will change your mind.
But it should also be made clear that this is not a personal insult aimed at them. You are simply trying to maintain your Islamic principles, and you would not be able to do that in a prom environment, that's all. You and they can still play baseball, go shopping or hiking, but the prom is just one activity, which you'll have to skip.
Tip #2: Plan an alternative
"We need to see Islam as a cool alternative, not a loser alternative," says Shaema Imam, 22.
While the prom may seem hard to beat, there are alternatives out there. It requires creativity and intelligence.
After getting over the initial shock and disappointment of not going to the prom, go to Plan B. Get a couple of your friends who are not going to the prom together and plan some Halal fun. Contrary to popular belief, the possibilities are endless.
"For the brothers, if you have hockey [or any sport] they'll come," says Ali Shayan, 21, of Ottawa, Canada.
Sports are almost always a favorite for brothers. Think about it: while the guys at the prom are sweating it out in uncomfortable, expensive tuxedos and making almost complete fools of themselves on the dance floor, you could be skillfully honing your athletic talent in comfortable clothes with your non-prom friends, looking cool and really dignified.
For sisters, you could throw an all-sisters party at your place. Have all the fun of a prom party minus the Islamically questionable elements. Get dressed up, made up and revved up for a night of Halal fun.
Tip #3: Plan early
The sooner you decide not to go to the prom, the better. This will give you more time to plan your alternative.
If a small party in your basement is way too simple to satisfy the prom urge, plan a really fancy one with the works: fancy hotel, lush carpets, nice dresses, etc. Except this will be only a mother-daughter affair. Or a father-son affair.
You can get those older rich brothers and sisters in the community to help you out with the funding. After all, you would be doing their kids (if they have any in their teens) a favor too.
If you're living in a small community with few Muslims, planning in advance will give you the time to get in touch with a nearby Muslim community a few miles away. This way you can still spend prom night with fellow Muslims, even if you're community is small or apathetic.
Tip #4: Hook up with the MSAs
Muslim Students' Associations (MSAs) play a very important role.
They should be one of key institutions in the community organizing activities. And since they are made up of young people, they should be involved with organizing a Muslim youth awards ceremony, for instance.
The advantage of hooking up with the MSAs is that you have better access to funds and spaces to hold activities. As well, you would have the guidance of brothers and sisters who may have gone through the prom pressure experience themselves.
Tip #5: Hang out with your family
It may sound strange to do this when the prom is about being with your friends. But think about it. For many, this could be one of the last happy occasions you have with your family before moving away for college.
Prom night isn't just about you finishing high school. It should also be a tribute to your parents for helping you through the experience, whether it was by taking care of your basic necessities, helping you with homework or paying for expenses.
Use the money you were going to spend on a limousine, dress/tuxedo, or tickets to the prom and spend it on your family, just to spend time with them.
Tip #6: Don't become arrogant because you didn't go
While it does require strength for many Muslim youth to say no to the prom and similar activities, this is no excuse to look down on those who do not have that strength yet. The Prophet Muhammad, (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "No one who has an atom's weight of pride in his heart will enter the Garden (Paradise)." A man said, "And if the man likes his clothes to be good and his sandals to be good?" He said, "Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means to renounce the truth and abase people" (Muslim).
It is by Allah's Will and Mercy that you were able to resist going. Pray that your brothers and sisters are able to do the same.
Tip #7: Encourage others not to go
By doing this, not only will you be helping others, but you will also have more people in on an alternative to the prom.
Do this even after someone has gone to the prom. Often times, people realize something is wrong after the fact. Discuss the issue with sincerity, wisdom and kindness.
Source: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/prom/7tips.asp
Anatomy of the Prom: What is it about? by Sound Vision staff writer
The prom is held annually to celebrate the completion of high school. It usually takes place in May. In some schools, there is a junior (after grade 11) and a senior prom (after grade 12). In others, it is only held at the end of twelfth grade.
It consists of the following elements:
The buildup
• Check out teen magazines in March and April and you will find articles about various aspects of the prom: hairstyles, dresses, limousines, teens sharing their prom experiences etc.
• In a number of high schools, build up to the prom begins in September. There is often a prom committee, which is responsible for fundraising for the event and organizing it. This is done in consultation with teachers and the principal.
• A number of television shows, especially those aimed at teens and families make the event a focus of at least one episode around prom time.
The preparation
• Planning for the prom begins well in advance. Shadi Sakr, 23, was on his high school prom committee, but later decided to leave, and did not attend the event either. "The whole year, people were getting their licenses, deciding on what clothes they wanted to wear, reserving their appointments six months in advance for the hair salon," he says.
• Proms are not cheap. They generally range from $400 to $3,000 per person http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2004-04-28-prom_x.htm)
• Costs involve: tickets for the actual prom dinner sponsored by the school; for girls, fancy dresses; for boys, renting a tuxedo; the actual banquet; renting a hotel room; renting a limousine or other expensive car; beauty salon for girls to get their make up done and the after-prom party.
• In some places, there is almost an entire day devoted to pre-prom preparation, with a party to commemorate the event.
• In most cases, it is expected that teens will go with a date. Boys usually ask girls for a date to the prom in advance of the event. "I didn't go to the graduation or the prom because I had just started practicing [Islam]," says Ali Shayan, 21, of Ottawa, Canada. "The fact that there was alcohol and you had to go with a date, because of those reasons I didn't want to go," he adds.
The dinner
• This is the part of the prom which is sponsored by the school. It is usually a dinner, followed by mixed-sex dancing all under the supervision of teachers or other chaperones. Alcohol is usually not served here, since most youth may not legally be allowed to buy or be sold alcohol until age 18 or more, depending on local laws.
The after-party
• This is the party following the above-mentioned dinner. This is where the sex, drugs and rockn' roll aspect of the prom becomes most evident. There is almost never any adult supervision. The party can be held at the home of a graduating student whose parents are not present, in a club, or in the hotel where the above-mentioned dinner was held.
Other notes
• Sex: a number of graduating students decide prom night is the night to lose their virginity. This applies to both young men and women. Hotel rooms are often rented for this specific purpose.
• Drugs: these are not hard to find and it is not uncommon to find marijuana, for instance, being smoked and passed around freely.
• Alcohol is easily available and has led not only to embarrassing moments for a number of teens, but death with incidents of drinking and driving. Alcohol is usually more likely to be consumed during the after party, since there is no adult supervision.
• Dress code: in general, while boys are covered from neck to foot in tuxedos, it is socially expected for girls to dress in formal evening gowns. Take a look at some magazines featuring prom dresses and this will give you a good idea of what most of these clothes are like: plunging necklines, tight-fitting, short, or long dresses with a large slit which reveals most of the legs.
• Entertainment: Rock songs which have been popular that specific year, romantic ballads, and mixed sex dancing are the main forms of entertainment at the prom, including the school sponsored dinner.
• What do adults do about the after prom party activities: According to Khalid Griggs, Imam of The Community Mosque of Winston-Salem in North Carolina, you find that the local hotel and motel operators rent rooms to 16, 17 and 18-year-olds knowing that they would be below the age of renting rooms. So there's a tacit kind of approval and even cooperation on the part of local merchants to loosen the normal restraints on the sale of alcohol, the renting of hotel rooms, those things in particular.
Source: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/prom/anatomy.asp
It consists of the following elements:
The buildup
• Check out teen magazines in March and April and you will find articles about various aspects of the prom: hairstyles, dresses, limousines, teens sharing their prom experiences etc.
• In a number of high schools, build up to the prom begins in September. There is often a prom committee, which is responsible for fundraising for the event and organizing it. This is done in consultation with teachers and the principal.
• A number of television shows, especially those aimed at teens and families make the event a focus of at least one episode around prom time.
The preparation
• Planning for the prom begins well in advance. Shadi Sakr, 23, was on his high school prom committee, but later decided to leave, and did not attend the event either. "The whole year, people were getting their licenses, deciding on what clothes they wanted to wear, reserving their appointments six months in advance for the hair salon," he says.
• Proms are not cheap. They generally range from $400 to $3,000 per person http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2004-04-28-prom_x.htm)
• Costs involve: tickets for the actual prom dinner sponsored by the school; for girls, fancy dresses; for boys, renting a tuxedo; the actual banquet; renting a hotel room; renting a limousine or other expensive car; beauty salon for girls to get their make up done and the after-prom party.
• In some places, there is almost an entire day devoted to pre-prom preparation, with a party to commemorate the event.
• In most cases, it is expected that teens will go with a date. Boys usually ask girls for a date to the prom in advance of the event. "I didn't go to the graduation or the prom because I had just started practicing [Islam]," says Ali Shayan, 21, of Ottawa, Canada. "The fact that there was alcohol and you had to go with a date, because of those reasons I didn't want to go," he adds.
The dinner
• This is the part of the prom which is sponsored by the school. It is usually a dinner, followed by mixed-sex dancing all under the supervision of teachers or other chaperones. Alcohol is usually not served here, since most youth may not legally be allowed to buy or be sold alcohol until age 18 or more, depending on local laws.
The after-party
• This is the party following the above-mentioned dinner. This is where the sex, drugs and rockn' roll aspect of the prom becomes most evident. There is almost never any adult supervision. The party can be held at the home of a graduating student whose parents are not present, in a club, or in the hotel where the above-mentioned dinner was held.
Other notes
• Sex: a number of graduating students decide prom night is the night to lose their virginity. This applies to both young men and women. Hotel rooms are often rented for this specific purpose.
• Drugs: these are not hard to find and it is not uncommon to find marijuana, for instance, being smoked and passed around freely.
• Alcohol is easily available and has led not only to embarrassing moments for a number of teens, but death with incidents of drinking and driving. Alcohol is usually more likely to be consumed during the after party, since there is no adult supervision.
• Dress code: in general, while boys are covered from neck to foot in tuxedos, it is socially expected for girls to dress in formal evening gowns. Take a look at some magazines featuring prom dresses and this will give you a good idea of what most of these clothes are like: plunging necklines, tight-fitting, short, or long dresses with a large slit which reveals most of the legs.
• Entertainment: Rock songs which have been popular that specific year, romantic ballads, and mixed sex dancing are the main forms of entertainment at the prom, including the school sponsored dinner.
• What do adults do about the after prom party activities: According to Khalid Griggs, Imam of The Community Mosque of Winston-Salem in North Carolina, you find that the local hotel and motel operators rent rooms to 16, 17 and 18-year-olds knowing that they would be below the age of renting rooms. So there's a tacit kind of approval and even cooperation on the part of local merchants to loosen the normal restraints on the sale of alcohol, the renting of hotel rooms, those things in particular.
Source: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/prom/anatomy.asp
How to Deal With the G-B Relationship? by Amatullah Islam
In the last article I talked about taking preventative measures to ensure that when your child is older, he or she will not be caught in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. However, if your child is already a teenager or those methods did not work, and you are now facing this dilemma, there is still hope of rectifying it.
Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel.
The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend.
What led to this?
There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at is the girl's raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.
Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl's behavior?
Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a "geek."
Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends.
Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy.
Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.
Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it; therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parent’s attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere, whereas the latter demands it from her parents.
There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.
How to approach them
When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative ("You did this to...") and judgmental ("You are so..."), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation ("Why did you...?"). This only adds to their daughter's defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using "should", "don't" and all other negative words.
Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it ("Do you mean...?"), acknowledge it ("You feel... because...") and empathize with it ("You sound really..."). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.
Insecurity
Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her "bad" behaviors, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviors and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter. Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).
Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam's position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, the mother of Prophet Eesa (A.S), is one great example.
Don't forget about the boys
Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironic that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But, when it is the son who is in a similar or worst position, the same parents are complaisant. They feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.
Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebel. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth03.html
Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel.
The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend.
What led to this?
There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at is the girl's raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.
Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl's behavior?
Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a "geek."
Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends.
Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy.
Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.
Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it; therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parent’s attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere, whereas the latter demands it from her parents.
There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.
How to approach them
When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative ("You did this to...") and judgmental ("You are so..."), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation ("Why did you...?"). This only adds to their daughter's defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using "should", "don't" and all other negative words.
Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it ("Do you mean...?"), acknowledge it ("You feel... because...") and empathize with it ("You sound really..."). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.
Insecurity
Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her "bad" behaviors, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviors and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter. Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).
Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam's position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, the mother of Prophet Eesa (A.S), is one great example.
Don't forget about the boys
Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironic that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But, when it is the son who is in a similar or worst position, the same parents are complaisant. They feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.
Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebel. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth03.html
(Preventing) the Girlfriend - Boyfriend Relationship by Amatullah Islam
Zina (fornication) has become a commonplace occurrence within the Muslim youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how such a situation can occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key.” The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of "no boyfriend" when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?
The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.
In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahram (non-Mahram is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.
At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or 'an affair.' It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, sexual diseases - the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (R.A) related that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, "The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: The married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community" [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim].
What about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished - he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: The Prophet (S.A.W) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].
At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad], and he will whisper and tempt them with what is forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.
Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among the people who Allah bestows mercy upon: Abu Hurairah (R.A) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His shade on the Day (of Judgment) when there is no shade except His shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah [Bukhari and Muslim].
Below are more points on how to help your child [or yourself], at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older; you make sure that it is put into practice.
You must teach him or her to:
1. Not freely mix with the opposite sex.
2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, "...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second" [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust [Bukhari].
3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) "...do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you..." [33:32]
4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim parents covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.
It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (S.A.W) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (R.A) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) was more shy than a virgin in her own room… [Bukhari]. If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha' Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children [or parents] so that we can talk and explain things to them, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.'
In the next issue, Insha' Allah, we will discuss the ways in which parents can deal with the situation when they have discovered that their daughter or son is in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth02.html
The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.
In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahram (non-Mahram is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.
At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or 'an affair.' It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, sexual diseases - the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (R.A) related that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, "The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: The married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community" [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim].
What about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished - he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: The Prophet (S.A.W) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].
At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad], and he will whisper and tempt them with what is forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.
Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among the people who Allah bestows mercy upon: Abu Hurairah (R.A) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His shade on the Day (of Judgment) when there is no shade except His shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah [Bukhari and Muslim].
Below are more points on how to help your child [or yourself], at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older; you make sure that it is put into practice.
You must teach him or her to:
1. Not freely mix with the opposite sex.
2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, "...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second" [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust [Bukhari].
3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) "...do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you..." [33:32]
4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim parents covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.
It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (S.A.W) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (R.A) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) was more shy than a virgin in her own room… [Bukhari]. If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha' Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children [or parents] so that we can talk and explain things to them, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.'
In the next issue, Insha' Allah, we will discuss the ways in which parents can deal with the situation when they have discovered that their daughter or son is in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth02.html
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Dilemma Facing the Youth by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen hafidhahullaah cont. 3
Ahadeeth in which there is mention of the youth
When these words have revolved around the problems of the youth, I would like to mention some Ahadith in which there is a mention of the youth. From amongst them are:
1. "Your Lord is pleased with that teenager who is free of youthful passion.'' (Narrated by Ahmad)
2. "There are seven such persons for whom Allaah will provide shade from his shade on that day when there will be no other shade except his: A just ruler; a youth who was nurtured in the obedience of Allaah; a man whose heart is attached to the Masjid; two people who love each other only for the pleasure of Allaah, (they meet for the pleasure of Allaah); a man who is enticed by a woman of status and beauty and he says, "I fear Allaah"; a man who has given charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, and a person who remembers Allaah in seclusion and tears flow from his eyes (due to the fear of Allaah)." (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim)
3. "Hasan and Husain (RadiAllaahu-anhuma) will both be the leaders of the youth of Jannah." (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
4. "It will be said to the people of Jannah, for you is youth and you will never grow old." (Narrated by Muslim)
5. "Never does a youngster honor an elderly person because of his old age but Allaah appoints somebody who will honor him during his old age." (Narrated by Tirmidhi with a weak chain of narrators)
6. Abu Bakr said to Zaid bin Habit while Umar bin Khattaab was beside him (RadiAllaahu anhum): "You are young and intelligent. We are not suspicious of you and you used to write the revelation for the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam so pursue the Qur'aan and gather it." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
7. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam came to a youngster while he was in the throes of death. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked him, "In what condition do you find yourself?" He said, "I have hope in Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah and I fear for my sins." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "These two things (hope ad fear) do not gather in the heart of a servant at a moment like this, but Allaah grants him what he hopes for and saves him from that which he fears." (Narrated by Ibn-e-Majah)
8. Bara bin 'Aazib (RadiAllaahu anhu) said concerning the battle of Hunain, "No, by Allaah, Rasullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam did not turn away, but even his young companions who were fatigued and ill equipped emerged to fight." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
9. Ibn Mas'ood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, "We used to fight with Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam while we were young." (Narrated by Ahmed)
10. Anas bin Malik (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates: "There were seventy youth from among the Ansar who were called Qurra (reciters), who used to remain in the masjid. When evening approached, they retreated to a corner in Medinah, where they learnt, taught each other and prayed. Their families were under the impression that they were in the Masjid and the people of the Masjid were under the impression that they were with their families, until the crack of dawn. They brought fresh water and gathered firewood which they presented at the room of Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.'' (Narrated by Ahmad). With this they used to buy food for the Ashaabus Suffah (people of the platform). The people of the platform were those destitutes who migrated to Madinah. They did not have any family in Madinah so they sought refuge at a platform in the Masjid.
11. Alqamah who is one of the companions of Ibn Masood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, "I was walking with Abdullah by Mina when he met Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu). Abdullah stood talking with Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu) when he said, "O Abu Abdir-Rahman, should we not marry you to a young girl so that she would remind you of some things which have passed during your era." Abdullah said: "If you say that then surely Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam told us, "O youth. Whoever from amongst you has the means, should marry, because it is more effective in the safeguarding of the gaze and more chaste for the private parts. If one does not have the ability to do this, then he should fast because it is a shield for him (from sins)." (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim).
12. In the tradition concerning Dajjaal reported from Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "Dajjaal will call a person who is in the prime of his youth and strike him with a sword, slicing him into two pieces, like the striking of a target. Then Dajjaal will call the youth. The youth will respond, his face being radiant - laughing." (Narrated by Muslim)
13. Malik Bin Huwairith (RadiAllaahu anbu) narrates, "We came to Rasullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam while we were youngsters of similar age. We stayed by him for twenty days and nights. The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was merciful and gentle. When he guessed that we longed for our families into difficulty, he questioned us about what we had left behind, so we informed him. Then Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Return to your families, live with them, teach them, invoke them," and he mentioned a few other things. "Pray the way you see me performing the prayer. When the time of prayer approaches, then one of you should call out the call for prayer (Adhaan) and the eldest amongst you should lead the prayer." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
We ask Allaah to grant us benefit from this treatise and praises are only for Allaah who is the Lord of the Universe. May Allaah shower his choicest blessings and peace upon our Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and upon all his family and companions.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
When these words have revolved around the problems of the youth, I would like to mention some Ahadith in which there is a mention of the youth. From amongst them are:
1. "Your Lord is pleased with that teenager who is free of youthful passion.'' (Narrated by Ahmad)
2. "There are seven such persons for whom Allaah will provide shade from his shade on that day when there will be no other shade except his: A just ruler; a youth who was nurtured in the obedience of Allaah; a man whose heart is attached to the Masjid; two people who love each other only for the pleasure of Allaah, (they meet for the pleasure of Allaah); a man who is enticed by a woman of status and beauty and he says, "I fear Allaah"; a man who has given charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given, and a person who remembers Allaah in seclusion and tears flow from his eyes (due to the fear of Allaah)." (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim)
3. "Hasan and Husain (RadiAllaahu-anhuma) will both be the leaders of the youth of Jannah." (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
4. "It will be said to the people of Jannah, for you is youth and you will never grow old." (Narrated by Muslim)
5. "Never does a youngster honor an elderly person because of his old age but Allaah appoints somebody who will honor him during his old age." (Narrated by Tirmidhi with a weak chain of narrators)
6. Abu Bakr said to Zaid bin Habit while Umar bin Khattaab was beside him (RadiAllaahu anhum): "You are young and intelligent. We are not suspicious of you and you used to write the revelation for the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam so pursue the Qur'aan and gather it." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
7. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam came to a youngster while he was in the throes of death. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked him, "In what condition do you find yourself?" He said, "I have hope in Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah and I fear for my sins." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "These two things (hope ad fear) do not gather in the heart of a servant at a moment like this, but Allaah grants him what he hopes for and saves him from that which he fears." (Narrated by Ibn-e-Majah)
8. Bara bin 'Aazib (RadiAllaahu anhu) said concerning the battle of Hunain, "No, by Allaah, Rasullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam did not turn away, but even his young companions who were fatigued and ill equipped emerged to fight." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
9. Ibn Mas'ood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, "We used to fight with Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam while we were young." (Narrated by Ahmed)
10. Anas bin Malik (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates: "There were seventy youth from among the Ansar who were called Qurra (reciters), who used to remain in the masjid. When evening approached, they retreated to a corner in Medinah, where they learnt, taught each other and prayed. Their families were under the impression that they were in the Masjid and the people of the Masjid were under the impression that they were with their families, until the crack of dawn. They brought fresh water and gathered firewood which they presented at the room of Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.'' (Narrated by Ahmad). With this they used to buy food for the Ashaabus Suffah (people of the platform). The people of the platform were those destitutes who migrated to Madinah. They did not have any family in Madinah so they sought refuge at a platform in the Masjid.
11. Alqamah who is one of the companions of Ibn Masood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, "I was walking with Abdullah by Mina when he met Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu). Abdullah stood talking with Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu) when he said, "O Abu Abdir-Rahman, should we not marry you to a young girl so that she would remind you of some things which have passed during your era." Abdullah said: "If you say that then surely Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam told us, "O youth. Whoever from amongst you has the means, should marry, because it is more effective in the safeguarding of the gaze and more chaste for the private parts. If one does not have the ability to do this, then he should fast because it is a shield for him (from sins)." (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim).
12. In the tradition concerning Dajjaal reported from Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "Dajjaal will call a person who is in the prime of his youth and strike him with a sword, slicing him into two pieces, like the striking of a target. Then Dajjaal will call the youth. The youth will respond, his face being radiant - laughing." (Narrated by Muslim)
13. Malik Bin Huwairith (RadiAllaahu anbu) narrates, "We came to Rasullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam while we were youngsters of similar age. We stayed by him for twenty days and nights. The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was merciful and gentle. When he guessed that we longed for our families into difficulty, he questioned us about what we had left behind, so we informed him. Then Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Return to your families, live with them, teach them, invoke them," and he mentioned a few other things. "Pray the way you see me performing the prayer. When the time of prayer approaches, then one of you should call out the call for prayer (Adhaan) and the eldest amongst you should lead the prayer." (Narrated by Bukhaaree)
We ask Allaah to grant us benefit from this treatise and praises are only for Allaah who is the Lord of the Universe. May Allaah shower his choicest blessings and peace upon our Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and upon all his family and companions.
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
Dilemma Facing the Youth by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen hafidhahullaah cont. 2
Problems that recur in the heart of the teenager
Misgivings and evil thoughts keep recurring on a dead heart which contradicts Deen. It is for this reason that when it was said to Ibn Masud or Ibn-e-Abbas (Radiallaahu anhum) that the Jews say that they do not get evil thoughts in their prayers, i.e. they do not experience apprehensions, he replied, ''They have spoken the truth, what can Shaytaan do with an empty heart?"
If the heart is alive and there is even a bit of Eemaan (faith) in it, then Shaytaan attacks it. His attack is devoid of leniency and sluggishness. He throws in the heart such evil thoughts which are detrimental to Deen. It is most destructive if the servant accepts these evil thoughts until Shaytaan induces him to create doubts in his Lord, Deen and beliefs. If he finds in the heart any weakness and frustration, Shaytaan overwhelms that heart until he takes it out of the confines of Deen. However, if he finds in the heart strength and steadfastness, he devises a contemptible scheme to mislead the servant.
These evil thoughts that Shaytaan casts in him will not harm a person if he practices the therapy mentioned by Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam concerning it. Ibn-e-Abbas (RadiAllaahu anhuma) narrates that a person came to Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and said: "I am having a certain feeling within myself which a burning ember is more desirable to me than my uttering it." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "All praise is due to Allah who has rejected his scheme i.e. driven away Shaytaan's evil thoughts." (Hadith)
Some people from the Sahabah (companions) came and said, "O Messenger of Allah, we find within ourselves (such a feeling) which overwhelms each one of us from speaking about it i.e. he feels it imposing to speak about it." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked: "Do you also experience it?" The companions replied, "Yes."
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "That is true faith (Eemaan)." The meaning of having true faith is that evil thoughts and your rejection of them does not harm your Eemaan even a bit but it is a proof that your Eemaan is sincere and has not been affected by any loss. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has said: "Shaytaan (the devil) comes to one of you and says. Who has created this? Who has created this? Until he says: Who has created your Lord? When he reaches this limit, then seek refuge in Allah and in his compassion." (Hadith)
It is stated in another Hadith regarding the same situation: "You should say: I believe in Allah and his messengers." And in a similar Hadith that Abu Dawood has narrated, Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Say Allah is one, Allah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to. Then blow a little saliva towards the left thrice and seek refuge from the accursed Shaytaan."
Once the Sahaaba (RadiAllaahu anhum) described this ambition to Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam for which he prescribed the cure in four steps:
1. The termination of evil thoughts by completely shunning and forgetting them until they do not exist and then occupying oneself away from these thoughts with balanced thinking.
2. Seek refuge in Allah from these evil thoughts and from the accursed Shaytaan.
3. He should say, “I believe in Allah and his Messengers.”
4. He should say, “Allah is one, Allah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to, there is none comparable to Him.” Spit to his left side thrice and say, "I seek refuge in Allah from the cursed Shaytaan."
Confusion regarding the issue of predestination
From those issues which keep recurring and leaves the youth bewildered is the issue of predestination. Belief in predestination is one of the pillars of Eemaan and Eemaan is not complete without it. This belief entails the belief that Allah, who is pure, knows what is going to happen and what is predestined for the skies and earth, as Allah says: "Don't you know that Allah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Indeed, it is all in a record and it is easy for Allah." [22:70]
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has prevented us from quarrelling and debating in the matter of predestination. Abu Hurairah (RadiAllaahu-anhu) relates that RasullAllaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam came to us while we were debating about predestination. Seeing this he became angry until his blessed face turned red with anger. Then he said: "Did I order you to do this? Is it for this that I was sent to you? The nations before you were destroyed when they debated this issue. I take a firm resolution from you that you will not quarrel on this matter." (Hadith)
Engrossing oneself and quarrelling in the matter of predestination lands a person in a maize from which he does not have the ability to emerge. The path of salvation is that you should aspire to do good and strive in the doing of good as you have been ordered because Allah, who is pure, has granted you intellect and understanding, and sent to you Messengers and revelation with them. Allah Ta'ala says, "So that mankind, after the coming of the Messengers, should have no proof against Allah for Allah is Exalted in Power and Wise." [4:165]
When Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam informed his companions that there is no person except that his abode in Jannah (heaven) and Jahannam (hell) has been foreordained, they said, "O Messenger of Allah, should we not depend upon our book (predestinations) and leave the doing of good deeds." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied: "Do good deeds, everything is made easy for what it was created. Those who are from the fortunate people, the actions of fortunate people will be made easy for them, and those who are from the wretched people, for them the actions of the wretched will be made easy." Then the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam recited the verse: "He who gives in charity and fears (Allah), and in all sincerity testifies to good, We will indeed make smooth for him the path to ease, but he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient and disbelieves in good, We will indeed make his path to adversity easy." [92:5-10]
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam ordered them to do good deeds and did not permit them to depend upon their preordainment because those who are predestined to be from the people of Jannah will not be from amongst them except if they do not do the actions and deeds of the people of Jannah, and those who are predestined to be from the people of Hell will not be from amongst them except if they do their actions. Action is according to the ability of a person because he himself knows that Allah has given him a choice in the doing of action and predestined it for him. If he wishes, he can either do it or leave it.
If a man makes an intention to travel, then he will travel and if he intends halting, then he will do so. If he sees a fire, he will flee from it and if he sees a thing which is beloved to him, he will go forward. Similarly with regards to obedience and sin, a person practices them by his own choice and leaves them by his own choice.
There are two objections according to some people regarding the issue of predestination:
1. Man sees that he does something by his own choice and he leaves all action by his own choice without perceiving any compulsion upon the doing or leaving of an action, so how does this coincide with the belief that everything is with the decree and foreordainment of Allah? The answer to this is that if we contemplate the action and movement of man, we will find that it is the result of two things, intention i.e. the choice to do something, and ability. If these two things are not found, the action will not occur. Intention and ability are both the creation of Allah, who is Most Pure, because intention is the result of the strength of the mind and ability is the result of the strength of the body. If Allah so wishes, he can snatch away the mind of man and he would be left without any intention or snatch away his ability leaving action impossible for him. When man makes a firm intention to do an action and he executes it, it is our knowledge with conviction that Allah had intended and destined that action, otherwise his intention would have changed or he would have found a barrier between himself and his ability to carry out that action. A Bedouin was asked, "How do you recognize Allah?" He replied, "By the breaking of firm intentions and the changing of resolutions."
2. The second objection which recurs according to some people in the matter of predestination is that man will be punished for his sinful deeds. How can he be punished for it when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him. How is he rewarded for his obedience when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him? It is unjust that you make predestination an argument for disobedience while you do not make it an argument for obedience. The second answer is that Allah has negated this argument in the Qur'aan and classified it as an ignorant statement. Thus Allah Ta'ala says, "Soon the idolaters will say, if Allah willed we would not have ascribed partners to Allah nor would our fathers have, nor would we have forbidden anything. In the same way their ancestors argued falsely, until they tasted our wrath. Say, have you any (certain) knowledge? If so, produce it before us. You follow nothing but presumption and you only lie." [6: 148]
Allah Ta'ala has explained that these objectors of predestination, have in their ranks those who were before them, who falsified (the Messengers) the way these people falsify (the Prophets), and they remained firm upon this action of theirs until they tasted Allah’s punishment. If their proof was correct, Allah would not have made the taste of His punishment. Then Allah ordered his Nabi to challenge them to prove the correctness of their beliefs and explain to them that they have no proof for this.
The third answer is that preordainment is a hidden secret. Nobody knows about it except Allah until it happens. How can a sinner have knowledge about the act that Allah has predestined for him until he does it? Is it not possible that Allah had ordained for him obedience? So why does he not in place of going towards sin, go towards obedience and say Allah has definitely predestined for me that I obey him?
The fourth answer is that Allah has blessed man by what he has given him of intelligence and understanding, and revealed upon him books and sent to him messengers and outlined to him what is beneficial and what is non-beneficial and blessed him with intention and ability with which he has the power to traverse either path. So why does this sinner choose the path of harm over the path of benefit?
If this sinner intended going on a journey to another place and he had two roads to choose from, one is easy and peaceful and the other difficult and frightful, he most definitely would traverse the easy, peaceful path and not the difficult, frightful path because of the argument that Allah had predestined it for him. If he traversed the path of difficulty and used the argument that Allah had predestined it for him, people would think of him as being naive and insane. In the same way are the paths of good and evil. Man will traverse the path of good and not deceive himself by traversing the path of evil on the pretext that Allah had predestined it for him. We see that every person has the ability to earn his livelihood. We see that he traverses every path in the gaining of his livelihood. He does not sit in his house and leave earning, holding on to the excuse of predestination.
Otherwise, what is the difference between striving for the world and striving in the obedience of Allah? Why do you make divine preordainment a proof for yourself upon the leaving out of obedient and you do not make it a proof for the leaving out of worldly action? The clarity of an argument is in its place but desires make a person blind and deaf.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
Misgivings and evil thoughts keep recurring on a dead heart which contradicts Deen. It is for this reason that when it was said to Ibn Masud or Ibn-e-Abbas (Radiallaahu anhum) that the Jews say that they do not get evil thoughts in their prayers, i.e. they do not experience apprehensions, he replied, ''They have spoken the truth, what can Shaytaan do with an empty heart?"
If the heart is alive and there is even a bit of Eemaan (faith) in it, then Shaytaan attacks it. His attack is devoid of leniency and sluggishness. He throws in the heart such evil thoughts which are detrimental to Deen. It is most destructive if the servant accepts these evil thoughts until Shaytaan induces him to create doubts in his Lord, Deen and beliefs. If he finds in the heart any weakness and frustration, Shaytaan overwhelms that heart until he takes it out of the confines of Deen. However, if he finds in the heart strength and steadfastness, he devises a contemptible scheme to mislead the servant.
These evil thoughts that Shaytaan casts in him will not harm a person if he practices the therapy mentioned by Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam concerning it. Ibn-e-Abbas (RadiAllaahu anhuma) narrates that a person came to Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and said: "I am having a certain feeling within myself which a burning ember is more desirable to me than my uttering it." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "All praise is due to Allah who has rejected his scheme i.e. driven away Shaytaan's evil thoughts." (Hadith)
Some people from the Sahabah (companions) came and said, "O Messenger of Allah, we find within ourselves (such a feeling) which overwhelms each one of us from speaking about it i.e. he feels it imposing to speak about it." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked: "Do you also experience it?" The companions replied, "Yes."
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "That is true faith (Eemaan)." The meaning of having true faith is that evil thoughts and your rejection of them does not harm your Eemaan even a bit but it is a proof that your Eemaan is sincere and has not been affected by any loss. Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has said: "Shaytaan (the devil) comes to one of you and says. Who has created this? Who has created this? Until he says: Who has created your Lord? When he reaches this limit, then seek refuge in Allah and in his compassion." (Hadith)
It is stated in another Hadith regarding the same situation: "You should say: I believe in Allah and his messengers." And in a similar Hadith that Abu Dawood has narrated, Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Say Allah is one, Allah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to. Then blow a little saliva towards the left thrice and seek refuge from the accursed Shaytaan."
Once the Sahaaba (RadiAllaahu anhum) described this ambition to Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam for which he prescribed the cure in four steps:
1. The termination of evil thoughts by completely shunning and forgetting them until they do not exist and then occupying oneself away from these thoughts with balanced thinking.
2. Seek refuge in Allah from these evil thoughts and from the accursed Shaytaan.
3. He should say, “I believe in Allah and his Messengers.”
4. He should say, “Allah is one, Allah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to, there is none comparable to Him.” Spit to his left side thrice and say, "I seek refuge in Allah from the cursed Shaytaan."
Confusion regarding the issue of predestination
From those issues which keep recurring and leaves the youth bewildered is the issue of predestination. Belief in predestination is one of the pillars of Eemaan and Eemaan is not complete without it. This belief entails the belief that Allah, who is pure, knows what is going to happen and what is predestined for the skies and earth, as Allah says: "Don't you know that Allah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Indeed, it is all in a record and it is easy for Allah." [22:70]
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has prevented us from quarrelling and debating in the matter of predestination. Abu Hurairah (RadiAllaahu-anhu) relates that RasullAllaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam came to us while we were debating about predestination. Seeing this he became angry until his blessed face turned red with anger. Then he said: "Did I order you to do this? Is it for this that I was sent to you? The nations before you were destroyed when they debated this issue. I take a firm resolution from you that you will not quarrel on this matter." (Hadith)
Engrossing oneself and quarrelling in the matter of predestination lands a person in a maize from which he does not have the ability to emerge. The path of salvation is that you should aspire to do good and strive in the doing of good as you have been ordered because Allah, who is pure, has granted you intellect and understanding, and sent to you Messengers and revelation with them. Allah Ta'ala says, "So that mankind, after the coming of the Messengers, should have no proof against Allah for Allah is Exalted in Power and Wise." [4:165]
When Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam informed his companions that there is no person except that his abode in Jannah (heaven) and Jahannam (hell) has been foreordained, they said, "O Messenger of Allah, should we not depend upon our book (predestinations) and leave the doing of good deeds." Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied: "Do good deeds, everything is made easy for what it was created. Those who are from the fortunate people, the actions of fortunate people will be made easy for them, and those who are from the wretched people, for them the actions of the wretched will be made easy." Then the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam recited the verse: "He who gives in charity and fears (Allah), and in all sincerity testifies to good, We will indeed make smooth for him the path to ease, but he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient and disbelieves in good, We will indeed make his path to adversity easy." [92:5-10]
Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam ordered them to do good deeds and did not permit them to depend upon their preordainment because those who are predestined to be from the people of Jannah will not be from amongst them except if they do not do the actions and deeds of the people of Jannah, and those who are predestined to be from the people of Hell will not be from amongst them except if they do their actions. Action is according to the ability of a person because he himself knows that Allah has given him a choice in the doing of action and predestined it for him. If he wishes, he can either do it or leave it.
If a man makes an intention to travel, then he will travel and if he intends halting, then he will do so. If he sees a fire, he will flee from it and if he sees a thing which is beloved to him, he will go forward. Similarly with regards to obedience and sin, a person practices them by his own choice and leaves them by his own choice.
There are two objections according to some people regarding the issue of predestination:
1. Man sees that he does something by his own choice and he leaves all action by his own choice without perceiving any compulsion upon the doing or leaving of an action, so how does this coincide with the belief that everything is with the decree and foreordainment of Allah? The answer to this is that if we contemplate the action and movement of man, we will find that it is the result of two things, intention i.e. the choice to do something, and ability. If these two things are not found, the action will not occur. Intention and ability are both the creation of Allah, who is Most Pure, because intention is the result of the strength of the mind and ability is the result of the strength of the body. If Allah so wishes, he can snatch away the mind of man and he would be left without any intention or snatch away his ability leaving action impossible for him. When man makes a firm intention to do an action and he executes it, it is our knowledge with conviction that Allah had intended and destined that action, otherwise his intention would have changed or he would have found a barrier between himself and his ability to carry out that action. A Bedouin was asked, "How do you recognize Allah?" He replied, "By the breaking of firm intentions and the changing of resolutions."
2. The second objection which recurs according to some people in the matter of predestination is that man will be punished for his sinful deeds. How can he be punished for it when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him. How is he rewarded for his obedience when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him? It is unjust that you make predestination an argument for disobedience while you do not make it an argument for obedience. The second answer is that Allah has negated this argument in the Qur'aan and classified it as an ignorant statement. Thus Allah Ta'ala says, "Soon the idolaters will say, if Allah willed we would not have ascribed partners to Allah nor would our fathers have, nor would we have forbidden anything. In the same way their ancestors argued falsely, until they tasted our wrath. Say, have you any (certain) knowledge? If so, produce it before us. You follow nothing but presumption and you only lie." [6: 148]
Allah Ta'ala has explained that these objectors of predestination, have in their ranks those who were before them, who falsified (the Messengers) the way these people falsify (the Prophets), and they remained firm upon this action of theirs until they tasted Allah’s punishment. If their proof was correct, Allah would not have made the taste of His punishment. Then Allah ordered his Nabi to challenge them to prove the correctness of their beliefs and explain to them that they have no proof for this.
The third answer is that preordainment is a hidden secret. Nobody knows about it except Allah until it happens. How can a sinner have knowledge about the act that Allah has predestined for him until he does it? Is it not possible that Allah had ordained for him obedience? So why does he not in place of going towards sin, go towards obedience and say Allah has definitely predestined for me that I obey him?
The fourth answer is that Allah has blessed man by what he has given him of intelligence and understanding, and revealed upon him books and sent to him messengers and outlined to him what is beneficial and what is non-beneficial and blessed him with intention and ability with which he has the power to traverse either path. So why does this sinner choose the path of harm over the path of benefit?
If this sinner intended going on a journey to another place and he had two roads to choose from, one is easy and peaceful and the other difficult and frightful, he most definitely would traverse the easy, peaceful path and not the difficult, frightful path because of the argument that Allah had predestined it for him. If he traversed the path of difficulty and used the argument that Allah had predestined it for him, people would think of him as being naive and insane. In the same way are the paths of good and evil. Man will traverse the path of good and not deceive himself by traversing the path of evil on the pretext that Allah had predestined it for him. We see that every person has the ability to earn his livelihood. We see that he traverses every path in the gaining of his livelihood. He does not sit in his house and leave earning, holding on to the excuse of predestination.
Otherwise, what is the difference between striving for the world and striving in the obedience of Allah? Why do you make divine preordainment a proof for yourself upon the leaving out of obedient and you do not make it a proof for the leaving out of worldly action? The clarity of an argument is in its place but desires make a person blind and deaf.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
Dilemma Facing the Youth by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen hafidhahullaah cont. 1
The 2nd type
The second type of teenager is the one who is corrupt in his beliefs, irresponsible in his conduct, himself misled, engulfed in vice, does not accept the truth from anyone nor does he refrain from falsehood and he is selfish in his conduct. He is a teenager who is stubborn. He does not yield to the truth nor does he renounce falsehood. He does not care about his neglect of the rights of man nor the rights of Allah. He is a confused teenager bereft of impartiality in his thinking and in his behavior. Likewise, he lacks balance in all his affairs.
He is a teenager who is conceited with his own opinion as if truth flows from his tongue. He, in his opinion, is free from mishaps, while others are a source of mistakes and slip-ups as long as they contradict his option.
He is a teenager who has turned away from the straight path in his Deen and the accepted norms of conduct. The evil of his conduct has been made alluring to him. Therefore, he regards it as virtuous. Thus he is the greatest of losers in respect of his deeds. These are the ones whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they presumed that they were doing good.
He is an evil omen upon himself and a misfortune for his society, one who is driving his nation towards the lowest stage. He is a barrier between his nation and their respect and munificence, a lethal influence, difficult to treat - except if Allah wishes. Allah has power over everything.
The 3rd type
The third type of teenager is he who is confused and doubtful. He recognizes the truth and is content with it. He lives in a guarded society except that the doors of evil have opened up for him from every direction. This has created doubt in his beliefs, deviation in his conduct, weakness in his action, a foray from known practices and an influx of diverse falsehood. Thus, he is in eternal thought and inner search. Opposing this influx or movement (of falsehood) is uncertainty. He does not know whether the truth lies in the prevailing ideologies or in the way of his pious predecessors and his safeguarded society. He is thus in doubt - sometimes he accords preference to one side and sometimes the next according to the strength of the influx of these thoughts.
This type of teenager is passive in his life. He is in need of captivating strength which will guide him towards the enclosure of truth and the path of goodness. How easy will this not be if Allah prepares for him a person who calls towards good, who is wise, knowledgeable and of good intentions?
These types of teenagers are found in abundance. They obtain a smattering of Islamic education but they acquire much more secular knowledge which conflicts with the basics of Deen either in reality or in their presumptions. Thus they are helpless between the 2 cultures. It is possible for them to gain liberation from this helplessness by establishing themselves upon Islamic education and acquiring this education from it's original sources - the book of Allah (the Qur'aan) and the Sunnah (traditions) of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam at the hands of devoted Ulema (learned men) - and this is not difficult for them.
The digression of the youth and their problems
The reasons for the digression and the difficulties of the youth are many and varied. Man, during the phase of youths is to a large extent in the process of the development of the body, thought processes and the mind, because this is the phase of growth during which he undergoes rapid changes. In this stage it is of extreme importance that the tools of self-control are prepared for him coupled with wise leadership to steer him towards the straight path.
From amongst the important reasons for this retrogression are the following:
1) Idleness- Idleness is a malady which kills thought processes, the mind and the strength of the body, because the body is always in need of movement and work. Thus, when the body is idle, thoughts become dull and the mind weakens, body movements weaken and devilish insinuations and evil thoughts form on to the heart. Many times an evil intention is created as a result of this suppression which was a direct consequence of idleness. The cure for this problem is that the teenage should strive in the attaining of work which befits him like reading, business or writing which will then become a barrier between him and his idleness. It is necessary that he becomes a stable member of society, working in his society for himself and for others.
2) Alienation and aloofness between the youth and the elderly members of their families or between the youth and others- We see some elders witnessing deviation in their youth but they hesitate, are disconcerted, helpless to strengthen them and dependent from reforming them. The result of this is hatred for these youth, estrangement from them and a don’t-care attitude towards their condition, whether their condition is one of piety or corruption. Sometimes they pass judgment concerning all the youth which translates into a blank impression of the youth in general. This splits the community whereby the youth and their elders begin looking at one another with the eyes of contempt. This is amongst the greatest dangers that can encompass human society. The cure for this problem is that the youth and their elders should make an effort to eradicate this alienation between them and trust everyone because the society together with its youth and elders are like one body. When one part of it decays, it leads to the decay of the whole body. It is incumbent upon the elders that they give deep thought to their responsibility concerning the reformation of the youth and dispel this contagious despondency from their hearts, because Allah has power over everything. How many corrupt people did Allah not guide, after which they became beacons of guidance and callers towards reform? It is necessary for the youths to entertain respect, regard for the opinions and acceptance of the guidance of their seniors who experienced the realities of life which these youth have not. When the wisdom of the seniors will meet with the strength of the youth, the society will attain prosperity with the will of Allah.
3) Liaison with deviated and corrupt people and befriending them- This has a great effect on the mind, the thinking and ways of the youth. For this reason Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said: "A person is on the Deen (religion) of his companion, so each one of you should take care in the matter of who he befriends." He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam also said: "The similitude of an evil companion is like an ironsmith using an oven. Either you will burn your clothes in his company or you will experience an offensive odor." (Hadith) The sure for this problem is that the teenager should choose for his companionship those who are good and intelligent so that he may benefit from their virtue, reformed ways and intelligence. He should weigh up their condition and reputation before befriending them. If they are people of character, virtue, correct Deen and good reputation, then befriend them. If they do not possess these qualities, then it is incumbent to distance oneself from them so that one is not deceived by sweet talk and beautiful outward appearances. This is deception and misguidance. This path is traversed by evil people to allure the simple-minded in order to increase their multitude and conceal their evil condition. A poet has said it most beautifully. “Test men when you intend to befriend them, scrutinize and study their affairs”.
4) Reading of destructive periodicals, booklets and magazines which create doubt in the Deen of a person and in his beliefs- This draws a person towards the abrogation of virtuous character and lands him in Kufr (disbelief) and vice. This is especially true when the teenager does not possess deep Deen related education and acute thinking by means of which he can differentiate between truth and falsehood, benefit and harm The reading of these types of books totally confounds them because they imbibe a false pleasure in the minds and thinking of the youth without reservation. The cure for this problem is that he should keep away from these books and read other books which will plant in his heart the love of Allah and his Rasool sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and the reality of Eemaan (belief) and good deeds. No doubt his inner self will entice him greatly towards those books which he loved previously and make him feel discontent with other beneficial woks. This is similar to the position of that person who lights with his inner self to establish the obedience of Allah in his life, but his soul rebels and becomes involved in futility and lies. The most important of beneficial books is the book of Allah and those which the people of knowledge have written by way commentary with correct transmission. In the same way, the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is beneficial, then that which the people of knowledge have written by extracting from these two sources or by way of deep understanding.
5) The impression of some youth that Islam is a curtailment of freedom and a repression of strength- Thus they turn away from Islam regarding it as retrogression and a barrier between them and progress. The cure for this problem is that the veil of the reality of Islam be lifted from these youth who are ignorant of its reality because of their wrong nations, inadequate knowledge or both. Islam does not restrict freedom but it is a control and a correct channeling for it, so much so that the freedom of one person does not clash with the freedom of the next person. General freedom leads to chaos and eruption. It is for this reason that the injunctions of Deen are called Hudood (limits). If the injunction is one of prohibition, Allah says: "They are the limits imposed by Allah, do not approach them." [2:187] If it is one of consent, Allah Ta'ala says, "These are the limits imposed by Allah, do not transgress them." [2:229] This is the difference between restriction (which is the impression of some) and control and guidance which the most wise, the all-knowing Allah has decreed for his servants. There is no basis for this problem because systemization is a reality in all domains and man by nature is submissive to this systematic reality. He is submissive to the pressure of hunger and thirst and to the system of his food and drink as far as quantity, quality and type is concerned so that he may safeguard his body and its health. He is in the same way submissive to the system of his society, holding on to the customs of his city in its dwellings, garb and modes of transport. If he does not subject himself to this, he will be considered as being abnormal and he will be treated the way extraordinary people are treated. Life is totally a submission to specified limits so that everything progresses according to its intended aim. This subjugation is for the order of society, e.g. submission which is necessary for the reformation of society and the prevention of anarchy. In the same way, submission to the system of the Sharee'ah entails that which is necessary for the reformation of the nation. So how can some people be annoyed with it and think of it as being a restriction of freedom? Verily this is a great untruth and a baseless, evil presumption. Islam in the same way is not a suppression of capabilities. It is a wide sphere for all strengths. Islam calls towards reflection so that man contemplates and his mind and thoughts grow. Allah Ta'ala says: "Say O Muhammad, I advise you of one thing only, that you stand up in two's and [single] and then reflect." [34:46] and Allah says: "Say O Muhammad, see what is in the heavens and the earth." [10:101] Islam does not confine itself to calling towards contemplation and deep thought but it denounces those who do not think, observe and contemplate. Allah Ta'ala says: "Have they not considered the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and what things Allah has created?" [7:185] Allah Ta'ala says: "Have they not pondered upon themselves? Allah did not create the heavens and the earth and that which is between them, except with truth." [30:8] And Allah Ta'ala says: "And he who we give old age. We reverse him in creation (making him go back to weakness after strength), do you not ponder?" [36:68]
The order of observing and pondering opens up the power of the mind and thoughts, so how can some people say; that it restricts capabilities? Dreadful is the word they utter; they only speak a lie. Islam has legalized for its people all pleasures in which there is no harm for the individual either physically, mentally or spiritually. Islam has authorized the eating and drinking of all pure things: "O believers, eat of the good things from which we have provided you, and render thanks to Allah." [2:172] Allah Ta'ala says: ''And eat and drink and do not waste. He does not love those who waste." [7:31] Islam has legalized all clothing to the demands of wisdom and nature: "O Children of Adam! We have revealed unto you clothing to conceal your shame, and splendid countenance, but the clothing of piety; that is best." [7:26] Allah Ta'ala says: "Say O Muhammad, who has forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah which He has produced for His servants and the pure things (which He has produced) for sustenance? Say, they are in the life of this world for those who believe, and only for them on the Day of Judgment.'' [7:32] He has authorized enjoyment of women by legitimate Nikaah (marriage): Allah Ta'ala says: "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one." [4:3] In the domain of economics, Islam has not suppressed the capabilities of its people but legalized for them all business dealings which are just and emanate from mutual happiness. Allah says: "Allah has permitted trade and forbidden usury." [2:276] And he says: "It is He who has made the earth manageable for you, so traverse through its tracks and eat of the sustenance which He provides, and He is responsible for the resurrection." [67:15] and He says, "And when the prayer is finished, then disperse through the land, and seek of the bounty of Allah." [62:10] After all this, is the impression or saying of some people correct, that Islam suppresses capabilities?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
The second type of teenager is the one who is corrupt in his beliefs, irresponsible in his conduct, himself misled, engulfed in vice, does not accept the truth from anyone nor does he refrain from falsehood and he is selfish in his conduct. He is a teenager who is stubborn. He does not yield to the truth nor does he renounce falsehood. He does not care about his neglect of the rights of man nor the rights of Allah. He is a confused teenager bereft of impartiality in his thinking and in his behavior. Likewise, he lacks balance in all his affairs.
He is a teenager who is conceited with his own opinion as if truth flows from his tongue. He, in his opinion, is free from mishaps, while others are a source of mistakes and slip-ups as long as they contradict his option.
He is a teenager who has turned away from the straight path in his Deen and the accepted norms of conduct. The evil of his conduct has been made alluring to him. Therefore, he regards it as virtuous. Thus he is the greatest of losers in respect of his deeds. These are the ones whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they presumed that they were doing good.
He is an evil omen upon himself and a misfortune for his society, one who is driving his nation towards the lowest stage. He is a barrier between his nation and their respect and munificence, a lethal influence, difficult to treat - except if Allah wishes. Allah has power over everything.
The 3rd type
The third type of teenager is he who is confused and doubtful. He recognizes the truth and is content with it. He lives in a guarded society except that the doors of evil have opened up for him from every direction. This has created doubt in his beliefs, deviation in his conduct, weakness in his action, a foray from known practices and an influx of diverse falsehood. Thus, he is in eternal thought and inner search. Opposing this influx or movement (of falsehood) is uncertainty. He does not know whether the truth lies in the prevailing ideologies or in the way of his pious predecessors and his safeguarded society. He is thus in doubt - sometimes he accords preference to one side and sometimes the next according to the strength of the influx of these thoughts.
This type of teenager is passive in his life. He is in need of captivating strength which will guide him towards the enclosure of truth and the path of goodness. How easy will this not be if Allah prepares for him a person who calls towards good, who is wise, knowledgeable and of good intentions?
These types of teenagers are found in abundance. They obtain a smattering of Islamic education but they acquire much more secular knowledge which conflicts with the basics of Deen either in reality or in their presumptions. Thus they are helpless between the 2 cultures. It is possible for them to gain liberation from this helplessness by establishing themselves upon Islamic education and acquiring this education from it's original sources - the book of Allah (the Qur'aan) and the Sunnah (traditions) of Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam at the hands of devoted Ulema (learned men) - and this is not difficult for them.
The digression of the youth and their problems
The reasons for the digression and the difficulties of the youth are many and varied. Man, during the phase of youths is to a large extent in the process of the development of the body, thought processes and the mind, because this is the phase of growth during which he undergoes rapid changes. In this stage it is of extreme importance that the tools of self-control are prepared for him coupled with wise leadership to steer him towards the straight path.
From amongst the important reasons for this retrogression are the following:
1) Idleness- Idleness is a malady which kills thought processes, the mind and the strength of the body, because the body is always in need of movement and work. Thus, when the body is idle, thoughts become dull and the mind weakens, body movements weaken and devilish insinuations and evil thoughts form on to the heart. Many times an evil intention is created as a result of this suppression which was a direct consequence of idleness. The cure for this problem is that the teenage should strive in the attaining of work which befits him like reading, business or writing which will then become a barrier between him and his idleness. It is necessary that he becomes a stable member of society, working in his society for himself and for others.
2) Alienation and aloofness between the youth and the elderly members of their families or between the youth and others- We see some elders witnessing deviation in their youth but they hesitate, are disconcerted, helpless to strengthen them and dependent from reforming them. The result of this is hatred for these youth, estrangement from them and a don’t-care attitude towards their condition, whether their condition is one of piety or corruption. Sometimes they pass judgment concerning all the youth which translates into a blank impression of the youth in general. This splits the community whereby the youth and their elders begin looking at one another with the eyes of contempt. This is amongst the greatest dangers that can encompass human society. The cure for this problem is that the youth and their elders should make an effort to eradicate this alienation between them and trust everyone because the society together with its youth and elders are like one body. When one part of it decays, it leads to the decay of the whole body. It is incumbent upon the elders that they give deep thought to their responsibility concerning the reformation of the youth and dispel this contagious despondency from their hearts, because Allah has power over everything. How many corrupt people did Allah not guide, after which they became beacons of guidance and callers towards reform? It is necessary for the youths to entertain respect, regard for the opinions and acceptance of the guidance of their seniors who experienced the realities of life which these youth have not. When the wisdom of the seniors will meet with the strength of the youth, the society will attain prosperity with the will of Allah.
3) Liaison with deviated and corrupt people and befriending them- This has a great effect on the mind, the thinking and ways of the youth. For this reason Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said: "A person is on the Deen (religion) of his companion, so each one of you should take care in the matter of who he befriends." He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam also said: "The similitude of an evil companion is like an ironsmith using an oven. Either you will burn your clothes in his company or you will experience an offensive odor." (Hadith) The sure for this problem is that the teenager should choose for his companionship those who are good and intelligent so that he may benefit from their virtue, reformed ways and intelligence. He should weigh up their condition and reputation before befriending them. If they are people of character, virtue, correct Deen and good reputation, then befriend them. If they do not possess these qualities, then it is incumbent to distance oneself from them so that one is not deceived by sweet talk and beautiful outward appearances. This is deception and misguidance. This path is traversed by evil people to allure the simple-minded in order to increase their multitude and conceal their evil condition. A poet has said it most beautifully. “Test men when you intend to befriend them, scrutinize and study their affairs”.
4) Reading of destructive periodicals, booklets and magazines which create doubt in the Deen of a person and in his beliefs- This draws a person towards the abrogation of virtuous character and lands him in Kufr (disbelief) and vice. This is especially true when the teenager does not possess deep Deen related education and acute thinking by means of which he can differentiate between truth and falsehood, benefit and harm The reading of these types of books totally confounds them because they imbibe a false pleasure in the minds and thinking of the youth without reservation. The cure for this problem is that he should keep away from these books and read other books which will plant in his heart the love of Allah and his Rasool sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and the reality of Eemaan (belief) and good deeds. No doubt his inner self will entice him greatly towards those books which he loved previously and make him feel discontent with other beneficial woks. This is similar to the position of that person who lights with his inner self to establish the obedience of Allah in his life, but his soul rebels and becomes involved in futility and lies. The most important of beneficial books is the book of Allah and those which the people of knowledge have written by way commentary with correct transmission. In the same way, the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is beneficial, then that which the people of knowledge have written by extracting from these two sources or by way of deep understanding.
5) The impression of some youth that Islam is a curtailment of freedom and a repression of strength- Thus they turn away from Islam regarding it as retrogression and a barrier between them and progress. The cure for this problem is that the veil of the reality of Islam be lifted from these youth who are ignorant of its reality because of their wrong nations, inadequate knowledge or both. Islam does not restrict freedom but it is a control and a correct channeling for it, so much so that the freedom of one person does not clash with the freedom of the next person. General freedom leads to chaos and eruption. It is for this reason that the injunctions of Deen are called Hudood (limits). If the injunction is one of prohibition, Allah says: "They are the limits imposed by Allah, do not approach them." [2:187] If it is one of consent, Allah Ta'ala says, "These are the limits imposed by Allah, do not transgress them." [2:229] This is the difference between restriction (which is the impression of some) and control and guidance which the most wise, the all-knowing Allah has decreed for his servants. There is no basis for this problem because systemization is a reality in all domains and man by nature is submissive to this systematic reality. He is submissive to the pressure of hunger and thirst and to the system of his food and drink as far as quantity, quality and type is concerned so that he may safeguard his body and its health. He is in the same way submissive to the system of his society, holding on to the customs of his city in its dwellings, garb and modes of transport. If he does not subject himself to this, he will be considered as being abnormal and he will be treated the way extraordinary people are treated. Life is totally a submission to specified limits so that everything progresses according to its intended aim. This subjugation is for the order of society, e.g. submission which is necessary for the reformation of society and the prevention of anarchy. In the same way, submission to the system of the Sharee'ah entails that which is necessary for the reformation of the nation. So how can some people be annoyed with it and think of it as being a restriction of freedom? Verily this is a great untruth and a baseless, evil presumption. Islam in the same way is not a suppression of capabilities. It is a wide sphere for all strengths. Islam calls towards reflection so that man contemplates and his mind and thoughts grow. Allah Ta'ala says: "Say O Muhammad, I advise you of one thing only, that you stand up in two's and [single] and then reflect." [34:46] and Allah says: "Say O Muhammad, see what is in the heavens and the earth." [10:101] Islam does not confine itself to calling towards contemplation and deep thought but it denounces those who do not think, observe and contemplate. Allah Ta'ala says: "Have they not considered the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and what things Allah has created?" [7:185] Allah Ta'ala says: "Have they not pondered upon themselves? Allah did not create the heavens and the earth and that which is between them, except with truth." [30:8] And Allah Ta'ala says: "And he who we give old age. We reverse him in creation (making him go back to weakness after strength), do you not ponder?" [36:68]
The order of observing and pondering opens up the power of the mind and thoughts, so how can some people say; that it restricts capabilities? Dreadful is the word they utter; they only speak a lie. Islam has legalized for its people all pleasures in which there is no harm for the individual either physically, mentally or spiritually. Islam has authorized the eating and drinking of all pure things: "O believers, eat of the good things from which we have provided you, and render thanks to Allah." [2:172] Allah Ta'ala says: ''And eat and drink and do not waste. He does not love those who waste." [7:31] Islam has legalized all clothing to the demands of wisdom and nature: "O Children of Adam! We have revealed unto you clothing to conceal your shame, and splendid countenance, but the clothing of piety; that is best." [7:26] Allah Ta'ala says: "Say O Muhammad, who has forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allah which He has produced for His servants and the pure things (which He has produced) for sustenance? Say, they are in the life of this world for those who believe, and only for them on the Day of Judgment.'' [7:32] He has authorized enjoyment of women by legitimate Nikaah (marriage): Allah Ta'ala says: "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one." [4:3] In the domain of economics, Islam has not suppressed the capabilities of its people but legalized for them all business dealings which are just and emanate from mutual happiness. Allah says: "Allah has permitted trade and forbidden usury." [2:276] And he says: "It is He who has made the earth manageable for you, so traverse through its tracks and eat of the sustenance which He provides, and He is responsible for the resurrection." [67:15] and He says, "And when the prayer is finished, then disperse through the land, and seek of the bounty of Allah." [62:10] After all this, is the impression or saying of some people correct, that Islam suppresses capabilities?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
Dilemma Facing the Youth by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen hafidhahullaah
Introduction
Verily all praises are due to Allah. We praise and glorify him, we seek help from him, we ask of his forgiveness and we turn to him. We seek refuge in him from the evil within us and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides there is no one to mislead him and whomsoever Allah misguides there is no one to guide him. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, who is one, and he has no partner. I bear witness that Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is his servant and his messenger. May Allah bestow Durood (His choicest blessings) upon him and his noble family and companions and those who followed them with excellence.
It gives me great pleasure to present to my brothers and sisters a very serious problem not only in an Islamic society but in every society, and that is the problem facing the youth in this age. The hearts of the youth are sickened with psychological problems which sometimes make them uneasy with life and they spend their energies in trying to free themselves from those difficulties and removing that sorrow. The removal of the difficulties will never take place except with Deen (religion) and character in which there is the strengthening of society and the betterment of this world and the hereafter. With this (religion and character), goodness and blessings will descend and evil and calamities will end.
Countries don’t prosper except with the help of its citizens and religion does not gain strength except with its followers. When the followers of Islam will stand up for it, Allah will help them no matter how many enemies they have. Allah Ta'ala says: "O believers, if you help Allah’s cause, he will help you and make your feet firm (against your enemies) and those who disbelieved, woe unto them and their actions are in vain." [47:7-8]
If Deen (religion) cannot be strong except with it's followers, then it is necessary for us, the followers of Islam and it's flag-bearers, that we firstly strengthen ourselves so that we may become worthy of leadership and guidance. It is imperative that we learn from the book of Allah (the Qur'aan) and the Sunnah of his Rasool (Messenger) sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam which will equip us for speech, action, guiding and inviting. This will enable us to carry the weapons of the guidance of Islam to all those who seek the truth and also to wield it against all those who seek falsehood.
Then it is necessary for us to put into practice what we have learnt from the Qur'aan and Sunnah, on the basis of Eemaan (faith), conviction and sincerity. Our characteristic should not be one of speech only because if speech is not backed up by action, its effect will not extend beyond the speaker and this speech will have an opposite elect: "O believers, why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not practice." [61:2-3]
It is most appropriate for us that we start at the beginning and ponder over our youth and their thoughts and actions, so that we may increase those which are good and correct those who are incorrect because the youth of today are the men and women of tomorrow and they are the foundation on which a future nation will be built. It is for this reason that the text of the Sharee'ah (Islamic law) has encouraged giving the youth due consideration and directing them to which is good and correct. They are the basis of the Ummah of which its future will be built and if their reformation is grounded upon the strong pillars of the Deen (religion) and character, there will be a brilliant future for this Ummah, if Allah wills.
A glance at the youth
If we closely exam the youth, it will be possible for us to conclude that the youth are generally of three types: Rightly guided youth, deviated or perverted youth and youth who are confused (between evil and good).
The 1st type
Rightly guided youth are: Youth who firmly believe in all the implications of this Kalima (the shahadatain). They truly believe in their Deen (religion). Eemaan (faith) is beloved to them and they are content and satisfied with their Eemaan. They consider acquiring Eemaan as a profit and deprivation from it as a big loss.
Youth who worship Allah sincerely. They worship Allah alone who has no partner.
Youth who follow the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam practically in his speech and action because they believe that he is the Messenger of Allah and the leader of all messengers.
Youth who establish salah (prayer) perfectly to the best of their ability, because they believe in the benefit and the religious, worldly and social merit found in prayer and the dangerous consequences of neglecting salah for both the individual and the nation.
Youth who give Zakah in full to those who are deserving of it, because they believe that Zakah fulfils the needs of Islam and it is one of the five pillars of Islam.
Youth who fast during the month of Ramadan. They stop themselves from their desires and cravings, whether it is summer or winter because they believe that actions are for the pleasure of Allah. Thus they give preference to that which pleases Allah over that which they desire.
Youth who perform the compulsory duty of Hajj (pilgrimage) to the sacred house of Allah because they love Allah. Thus they love the house of Allah and they love going to the places of his mercy and forgiveness and collaborating with his Muslim brothers and sisters who come to these places.
Youth who believe in Allah, who is their creator and the creator of the skies and the earth. They see from amongst the signs of Allah that which leaves no doubt even for a moment whatsoever in the existence and being of Allah. They see in this vast unique universe, in the form and system of the universe, that which clearly indicates towards the existence of its creator and His total power and complete wisdom, because it is not possible for this universe to come into existence on its own, nor is it possible for it to come into existence coincidentally. The reason for this is that the universe was non-existent before it was brought into existence, and that which is non-existent cannot bring anything into existence, because it itself is non-existent.
It is not possible that the universe came into existence coincidentally because it has a unique well-arranged system, which does not change from the procedure predestined for it.
1. "You will never find a change in the system of Allah." [33:62]
2. "You will never find any reversal in the system of Allah." [35:43]
3. You will not see in the creation of the most gracious any disparity, so turn your vision again. Do you see any rupture? Then turn your vision again, a second time, your vision will return to you dull and in a state of fatigue." [67:3-4]
The fact that this universe has a unique, well-arranged system, prevents its existence being coincidental. That which is in existence coincidentally will also have a system which is coincidental, which is likely to change or be disturbed in a short period of time.
Youth who believe in the angels of Allah because Allah has given information regarding them (the angels) in his book the Qur'aan and his Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has given information regarding to in the Sunnah (the traditions). The Qur'aan and Sunnah explain their qualities, their worship and their actions to which they rigidly stick to for the goodness of the creation. This clearly points to the existence of the angels.
Youth who believe in the Books of Allah. Allah revealed these books to his Messengers as a source of guidance for the creation towards the straight path. It is not possible for the mind of man to understand the intricacies of worship and social life except with the books of Allah.
Youth who believe in the prophets and Messengers of Allah whom Allah sent to his creation to call them towards good and enjoin them with good and prevent them from evil so that people do not have any proof against Allah after the sending of prophets. The very first Messenger was Nooh alayhis-salam and the last messenger was Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
Youth who believe in the last day in which people will be resurrected after dying, so they may be recompensed for their actions. Whoever does good equal to an atom, will reap it, and whoever does evil equal to an atom, will reap it. This is the consequence of this world, otherwise what is the benefit of life and what is the wisdom of life if there is no day for the creation in which the doer of good will be compensated for his good, and the perpetrator of evil, punished for his evil?
Youth who believe in the predestination of good and evil. Thus they believe that everything is with the decree of Allah and his divine foreordainment. This is despite their belief in causes and their related effects and that for both good and evil there are means.
Youth who adhere to the advice of Allah, His messengers, His book, the leaders of the Muslims and the general masses. They interact with Muslims with frankness and openness - the way it is incumbent upon them. They neither mislead, deceive nor conceal anything.
Youth who call towards Allah with deep insight, in accordance to the manner Allah has laid down in his book. "Call towards the path of your Sustainer with wisdom and sound advice and debate with them in a manner that is befitting." [16:125]
Youth who enjoin good and forbid from evil because they believe that in this is the success of the nation. "You are the best of nations, taken out for the guidance of mankind. You enjoin good and forbid from evil and you have full faith in Allah." [3:110]
Youth who strive in the changing of evil in the way established by the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "Whomsoever from amongst you sees an evil, he should change it with his hand. If he does not have the power to do this, then he should change it with his tongue. If he does not have the ability to do even this, then he should change it with his heart (by scheming in the eradication of this evil)." (Hadith)
Youth who speak the truth and accept the truth, because truth leads to good and good leads to paradise. A person will continue being truthful and pursue the truth until Allah records him as being a truthful person.
Youth who love good for the general Muslims because they believe in the saying of Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "None from amongst you can be a true believer until he loves for his (Muslim) brother [and sister] that which he loves for himself." (Hadith)
A teenager who is cognizant of his responsibility to Allah and his nation. He strives always for the goodness of his Deen (religion), his nation and homeland, keeping far from egoism and far from giving consideration to his own good at the expense of the good of others.
A teenager who strives for the pleasure of Allah and with the help of Allah in the path of Allah. He strives with sincerity without pride or want of reputation. He strives with the help of Allah without being conceited and without depending on his own might and power. He strives in the path of Allah for the uplifment of his Deen without exceeding the bounds and without laxity. He strives with his tongues, hand and wealth in the manner that the needs of Islam, and the Muslims demand of him.
Youth who have character and Deen in them, thus they are of refined character, religion, gentle, liberal, noble-minded, clean-hearted, steadfast, enduring and resolute. They do not waste any opportunity nor do they let compassion overcome intelligence and the need for reformation.
A teenager who is systematic. He works with wisdom and silence despite being firm and excellent in his work. He does not waste any opportunity but instead occupies himself in actions which are beneficial for him and his nation.
Together with this, this teenager safe-guards his Deen, character and conduct. Thus he is extremely distant from those qualities which contradict this, like kufr (disbelief), apostasy, inequity, disobedience, lowly character and evil mutual relations.
These types of youth are the pride of a nation and a symbol of its prosperity and Deen. These are the youth who will obtain the good of this world and the hereafter. They are the youth who we hope that Allah, with his grace, will use to rectify the corruption amongst the Muslims and illuminate the spiritual path of the seekers of truth.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
Verily all praises are due to Allah. We praise and glorify him, we seek help from him, we ask of his forgiveness and we turn to him. We seek refuge in him from the evil within us and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides there is no one to mislead him and whomsoever Allah misguides there is no one to guide him. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, who is one, and he has no partner. I bear witness that Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam is his servant and his messenger. May Allah bestow Durood (His choicest blessings) upon him and his noble family and companions and those who followed them with excellence.
It gives me great pleasure to present to my brothers and sisters a very serious problem not only in an Islamic society but in every society, and that is the problem facing the youth in this age. The hearts of the youth are sickened with psychological problems which sometimes make them uneasy with life and they spend their energies in trying to free themselves from those difficulties and removing that sorrow. The removal of the difficulties will never take place except with Deen (religion) and character in which there is the strengthening of society and the betterment of this world and the hereafter. With this (religion and character), goodness and blessings will descend and evil and calamities will end.
Countries don’t prosper except with the help of its citizens and religion does not gain strength except with its followers. When the followers of Islam will stand up for it, Allah will help them no matter how many enemies they have. Allah Ta'ala says: "O believers, if you help Allah’s cause, he will help you and make your feet firm (against your enemies) and those who disbelieved, woe unto them and their actions are in vain." [47:7-8]
If Deen (religion) cannot be strong except with it's followers, then it is necessary for us, the followers of Islam and it's flag-bearers, that we firstly strengthen ourselves so that we may become worthy of leadership and guidance. It is imperative that we learn from the book of Allah (the Qur'aan) and the Sunnah of his Rasool (Messenger) sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam which will equip us for speech, action, guiding and inviting. This will enable us to carry the weapons of the guidance of Islam to all those who seek the truth and also to wield it against all those who seek falsehood.
Then it is necessary for us to put into practice what we have learnt from the Qur'aan and Sunnah, on the basis of Eemaan (faith), conviction and sincerity. Our characteristic should not be one of speech only because if speech is not backed up by action, its effect will not extend beyond the speaker and this speech will have an opposite elect: "O believers, why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not practice." [61:2-3]
It is most appropriate for us that we start at the beginning and ponder over our youth and their thoughts and actions, so that we may increase those which are good and correct those who are incorrect because the youth of today are the men and women of tomorrow and they are the foundation on which a future nation will be built. It is for this reason that the text of the Sharee'ah (Islamic law) has encouraged giving the youth due consideration and directing them to which is good and correct. They are the basis of the Ummah of which its future will be built and if their reformation is grounded upon the strong pillars of the Deen (religion) and character, there will be a brilliant future for this Ummah, if Allah wills.
A glance at the youth
If we closely exam the youth, it will be possible for us to conclude that the youth are generally of three types: Rightly guided youth, deviated or perverted youth and youth who are confused (between evil and good).
The 1st type
Rightly guided youth are: Youth who firmly believe in all the implications of this Kalima (the shahadatain). They truly believe in their Deen (religion). Eemaan (faith) is beloved to them and they are content and satisfied with their Eemaan. They consider acquiring Eemaan as a profit and deprivation from it as a big loss.
Youth who worship Allah sincerely. They worship Allah alone who has no partner.
Youth who follow the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam practically in his speech and action because they believe that he is the Messenger of Allah and the leader of all messengers.
Youth who establish salah (prayer) perfectly to the best of their ability, because they believe in the benefit and the religious, worldly and social merit found in prayer and the dangerous consequences of neglecting salah for both the individual and the nation.
Youth who give Zakah in full to those who are deserving of it, because they believe that Zakah fulfils the needs of Islam and it is one of the five pillars of Islam.
Youth who fast during the month of Ramadan. They stop themselves from their desires and cravings, whether it is summer or winter because they believe that actions are for the pleasure of Allah. Thus they give preference to that which pleases Allah over that which they desire.
Youth who perform the compulsory duty of Hajj (pilgrimage) to the sacred house of Allah because they love Allah. Thus they love the house of Allah and they love going to the places of his mercy and forgiveness and collaborating with his Muslim brothers and sisters who come to these places.
Youth who believe in Allah, who is their creator and the creator of the skies and the earth. They see from amongst the signs of Allah that which leaves no doubt even for a moment whatsoever in the existence and being of Allah. They see in this vast unique universe, in the form and system of the universe, that which clearly indicates towards the existence of its creator and His total power and complete wisdom, because it is not possible for this universe to come into existence on its own, nor is it possible for it to come into existence coincidentally. The reason for this is that the universe was non-existent before it was brought into existence, and that which is non-existent cannot bring anything into existence, because it itself is non-existent.
It is not possible that the universe came into existence coincidentally because it has a unique well-arranged system, which does not change from the procedure predestined for it.
1. "You will never find a change in the system of Allah." [33:62]
2. "You will never find any reversal in the system of Allah." [35:43]
3. You will not see in the creation of the most gracious any disparity, so turn your vision again. Do you see any rupture? Then turn your vision again, a second time, your vision will return to you dull and in a state of fatigue." [67:3-4]
The fact that this universe has a unique, well-arranged system, prevents its existence being coincidental. That which is in existence coincidentally will also have a system which is coincidental, which is likely to change or be disturbed in a short period of time.
Youth who believe in the angels of Allah because Allah has given information regarding them (the angels) in his book the Qur'aan and his Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam has given information regarding to in the Sunnah (the traditions). The Qur'aan and Sunnah explain their qualities, their worship and their actions to which they rigidly stick to for the goodness of the creation. This clearly points to the existence of the angels.
Youth who believe in the Books of Allah. Allah revealed these books to his Messengers as a source of guidance for the creation towards the straight path. It is not possible for the mind of man to understand the intricacies of worship and social life except with the books of Allah.
Youth who believe in the prophets and Messengers of Allah whom Allah sent to his creation to call them towards good and enjoin them with good and prevent them from evil so that people do not have any proof against Allah after the sending of prophets. The very first Messenger was Nooh alayhis-salam and the last messenger was Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
Youth who believe in the last day in which people will be resurrected after dying, so they may be recompensed for their actions. Whoever does good equal to an atom, will reap it, and whoever does evil equal to an atom, will reap it. This is the consequence of this world, otherwise what is the benefit of life and what is the wisdom of life if there is no day for the creation in which the doer of good will be compensated for his good, and the perpetrator of evil, punished for his evil?
Youth who believe in the predestination of good and evil. Thus they believe that everything is with the decree of Allah and his divine foreordainment. This is despite their belief in causes and their related effects and that for both good and evil there are means.
Youth who adhere to the advice of Allah, His messengers, His book, the leaders of the Muslims and the general masses. They interact with Muslims with frankness and openness - the way it is incumbent upon them. They neither mislead, deceive nor conceal anything.
Youth who call towards Allah with deep insight, in accordance to the manner Allah has laid down in his book. "Call towards the path of your Sustainer with wisdom and sound advice and debate with them in a manner that is befitting." [16:125]
Youth who enjoin good and forbid from evil because they believe that in this is the success of the nation. "You are the best of nations, taken out for the guidance of mankind. You enjoin good and forbid from evil and you have full faith in Allah." [3:110]
Youth who strive in the changing of evil in the way established by the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "Whomsoever from amongst you sees an evil, he should change it with his hand. If he does not have the power to do this, then he should change it with his tongue. If he does not have the ability to do even this, then he should change it with his heart (by scheming in the eradication of this evil)." (Hadith)
Youth who speak the truth and accept the truth, because truth leads to good and good leads to paradise. A person will continue being truthful and pursue the truth until Allah records him as being a truthful person.
Youth who love good for the general Muslims because they believe in the saying of Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam: "None from amongst you can be a true believer until he loves for his (Muslim) brother [and sister] that which he loves for himself." (Hadith)
A teenager who is cognizant of his responsibility to Allah and his nation. He strives always for the goodness of his Deen (religion), his nation and homeland, keeping far from egoism and far from giving consideration to his own good at the expense of the good of others.
A teenager who strives for the pleasure of Allah and with the help of Allah in the path of Allah. He strives with sincerity without pride or want of reputation. He strives with the help of Allah without being conceited and without depending on his own might and power. He strives in the path of Allah for the uplifment of his Deen without exceeding the bounds and without laxity. He strives with his tongues, hand and wealth in the manner that the needs of Islam, and the Muslims demand of him.
Youth who have character and Deen in them, thus they are of refined character, religion, gentle, liberal, noble-minded, clean-hearted, steadfast, enduring and resolute. They do not waste any opportunity nor do they let compassion overcome intelligence and the need for reformation.
A teenager who is systematic. He works with wisdom and silence despite being firm and excellent in his work. He does not waste any opportunity but instead occupies himself in actions which are beneficial for him and his nation.
Together with this, this teenager safe-guards his Deen, character and conduct. Thus he is extremely distant from those qualities which contradict this, like kufr (disbelief), apostasy, inequity, disobedience, lowly character and evil mutual relations.
These types of youth are the pride of a nation and a symbol of its prosperity and Deen. These are the youth who will obtain the good of this world and the hereafter. They are the youth who we hope that Allah, with his grace, will use to rectify the corruption amongst the Muslims and illuminate the spiritual path of the seekers of truth.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Source: http://www.kalamullah.com/youth01.html
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