Check these out too!

1. http://www.kalamullah.com/personality.html
2. http://www.islamreligion.com/category/58/
3. http://english.islamway.com/bindex.php?section=all_article&topicid=45
4. http://www.islam-qa.com/en/cat/389
5. http://www.islam-qa.com/en/cat/408

Ways of Improving One's Character by Dr. Jafar Idris

The Quranic Way of Life

Some of the lessons learnt from the Quran that apply to our general living:

1. Respect and honor all human beings irrespective of their religion, color, race, sex, language, status, property, birth, profession/job and so on. [17/70]
2. Talk straight, to the point, without any ambiguity or deception. [33/70]
3. Choose the best words to speak and say them in the best possible way. [17/53, 2/83]
4. Do not shout. Speak politely keeping your voice low. [31/19]
5. Always speak the truth. Shun words that are deceitful and ostentatious. [22/30]
6. Do not confound truth with falsehood. [2/42]
7. Say with your mouth what is in your heart. [3/167]
8. Speak in a civilized manner in a language that is recognized by the society and is commonly used. [4/5]
9. When you voice an opinion, be just, even if it is against a relative. [6/152]
10. Do not be a bragging boaster. [31/18]
11. Do not talk, listen or do anything vain. [23/3, 28/55]
12. Do not participate in any paltry. If you pass near a futile play, then pass by with dignity. [25/72]
13. Do not verge upon any immodesty or lewdness whether surreptitious or overt. [6/151]
14. If unintentionally, any misconduct occurs by you, then correct yourself expeditiously. [3/134]
15. Do not be contemptuous or arrogant with people. [31/18]
16. Do not walk haughtily or with conceit. [17/37, 31/18]
17. Be moderate in thy pace. [31/19]
18. Walk with humility and sedateness. [25/63]
19. Keep your gazes lowered devoid of any lecherous leers and salacious stares. [24/30-31, 40/19]
20. If you do not have complete knowledge about anything, it is better to keep your mouth shut. You might think that speaking about something without full knowledge is a trivial matter, but it might have grave consequences. [24/15-16]
21. When you hear something malicious about someone, keep a favorable view about him/her until you attain full knowledge about the matter. Consider others innocent until they are proven guilty with solid and truthful evidence. [24/12-13]
22. Ascertain the truth of any news, lest you smite someone in ignorance and afterwards repent of what you did. [49/6]
23. Do not follow blindly any information of which you have no direct knowledge. (Using your faculties of perception and conception) you must verify it for yourself. In the court of your Lord, you will be held accountable for your hearing, sight, and the faculty of reasoning. [17/36]
24. Never think that you have reached the final stage of knowledge and nobody knows more than yourself. Remember, above everyone endowed with knowledge is another endowed with more knowledge. [12/76] Even the Prophet (p.b.u.h) was asked to keep praying, "O My sustainer! Advance me in knowledge." [20:114]
25. The believers are but a single brotherhood. Live like members of one family, brothers and sisters unto one another. [49/10]
26. Do not make mockery of others or ridicule others. [49/11]
27. Do not defame others. [49/11]
28. Do not insult others by nicknames. [49/11]
29. Avoid suspicion and guesswork. Suspicion and guesswork might deplete your communal energy. [49/12]
30. Spy not upon one another. [49/12]
31. Do not backbite one another. [49/12]
32. When you meet each other, offer good wishes and blessings for safety. One who conveys to you a message of safety and security and also when a courteous greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous or (at least) of equal courtesy. [4/86]
33. When you enter your own home or the home of somebody else, compliment the inmates. [24/61]
34. Do not enter houses other than your own until you have sought permission; and then greet the inmates and wish them a life of blessing, purity and pleasure. [24/27]
35. Treat kindly: your parents, relatives, orphans, and those who have been left alone in the society. [4/36]
36. Take care of: the needy, the disabled, those whose hard earned income is insufficient to meet their needs, those whose businesses have stalled, and those who have lost their jobs. [4/36]
37. Treat kindly: your related neighbors and unrelated neighbors, and companions by your side in public gatherings, or public transportation. [4/36]
38. Be generous to the needy wayfarer, the homeless son of the street, and the one who reaches you in a destitute condition. [4/36]
39. Be nice to people who work under your care. [4/36]
40. Do not follow up what you have given to others to afflict them with reminders of your generosity. [2/262]
41. Do not expect a return for your good behavior, not even thanks. [76/9]
42. Cooperate with one another in good deeds and do not cooperate with others in evil and bad matters. [5/2]
43. Do no try to impress people on account of self-proclaimed virtues. [53/32]
44. You should enjoin right conduct on others but mend your own ways first. Actions speak louder than words. You must first practice good deeds yourself, and then preach. [2/44]
45. Correct yourself and your families first (before trying to correct others). [66/6]
46. Pardon gracefully if anyone among you who commits a bad deed out of ignorance, and then repents and amends. [6/54, 3/134]
47. Divert and sublimate your anger and potentially virulent emotions to creative energy, and become a source of tranquility and comfort to people. [3/134]
48. Call people to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful exhortation. Reason with them most decently. [16/125]
49. Leave to themselves those who do not give any importance to the divine code and have adopted and consider it as mere play and amusement. [6/70]
50. Sit not in the company of those who ridicule the divine law unless they engage in some other conversation. [4/140]
51. Do not be jealous of those who are blessed. [4/54]
52. In your collective life, make rooms for others. [58/11]
53. When invited to dine, go at the appointed time. Do not arrive too early to wait for the preparation of meal or linger after eating to engage in bootless babble. Such things may cause inconvenience to the host. [33/53]
54. Eat and drink (what is lawful) in moderation. [7/31]
55. Do not squander your wealth senselessly. [17/26]
56. Fulfill your promises and commitments. [17/34]
57. Keep yourself clean and pure. [9/108, 4/43, 5/6]
58. Dress-up in agreeable attire and adorn yourself with exquisite character from inside out. [7/26]
59. Seek your provision only by fair endeavor. [29/17, 2/188]
60. Do not devour the wealth and property of others unjustly, nor bribe the officials or the judges to deprive others of their possessions. [2/188]

Source: http://english.islamway.com/bindex.php?section=article&id=271

Hayaa and Eman by Kamal el Mekki

Female Modesty

Modesty (3 Parts)

Part 1: An Overview

Modesty and shyness play a special part between the affairs of the Creator and the created. All prophets and Messengers encouraged modesty, as the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said: “Indeed from the teachings of the first prophets which has reached you is, ‘If you do not have shyness, then do as you please.” (Al-Bukhari)

Modesty as a sense of shame or shyness in human beings is a shrinking of the soul from foul conduct, a quality that prevents one from behaving badly towards others or encouraging others to behave badly towards you. Islamic ethics considers modesty as more than just a question of how a person dresses, and more than just modesty in front of people; rather it is reflected in a Muslim’s speech, dress, and conduct: in public in regards to people, and in private in regards to God. Any talk of modesty, therefore, must begin with the heart, not the hemline, as the Prophet of mercy said, ‘Modesty is part of faith,’ [1] and that part of faith must lie in the heart.

Take reservation in speech. As with everything in Islam, speech should be moderate. Raising one’s voice in venting anger simply shows one lacks the ability to contain it, and only damage will ensue from it. Uncontrolled anger, for example, can lead one to verbally abusing and physically assaulting another, both of which take off the veil of bashfulness one is endowed with, exposing the shameful ego within. The Prophet said: “A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry.” (Saheeh al-Bukhari)

A strong person who believes feels shy in front of God and His creation, since God knows and sees everything. He feels shy to disobey his Lord and feels shame if he sins or acts inappropriately, whether in private or public. This type of modesty is acquired and is directly related to one’s faith, where one’s awareness of God increases one’s “shyness” in front of Him.

Islamic morality divides modesty into natural and acquired. Modesty is a quality inherent in girls and boys, a certain type of modesty that is natural in human beings. It manifests itself, for instance, in a natural human urge to cover one’s private parts. According to the Quran, when Adam and Eve ate from the fruit of the forbidden tree, they became aware that their private parts were exposed, and they began to cover themselves with the leaves of Paradise, a natural result of their modesty.

Islamic scholars consider modesty to be a quality that distinguishes human beings from animals. Animals follow their instincts without feeling any shame or a sense of right or wrong. Hence, the less modesty a person has, the more he resembles animals. The more modesty a person has, the closer he is to being human. Islam has mandated certain legislations which induce this sense of modesty within humans. These legislations range from seeking permission before entering any room and distancing one from others while relieving oneself, to mandating certain manners of dress for men and women alike. Another way that modesty may be attained is by associating with modest people - people in whose presence a person feels embarrassed to do anything shameful - as the Prophet said: “I advise you to be shy toward God, the Exalted, in the same way that you are shy toward a pious man from your people.” [2]

Being shy of a stranger’s gaze is one of the driving forces behind modesty in dress. This can be seen in children, who naturally shy away from strangers, sometimes hiding from them in their mother’s skirts or behind their father’s legs. In Islam, screening most of your body off from the gaze of a stranger, especially of the opposite sex, is actually mandated as a means to avoid falling into conduct that may lead to extra-marital or pre-marital sex. God says, “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! God is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their chests, and not to reveal their adornment.” (Quran 24:30)

The verse then mentions the people before whom one is exempted from veiling; the ones who cannot be called ‘strangers’. Also, the command is relaxed as one matures: an aged woman who has no hope of marriage can discard the overcoats that screen what they are wearing underneath. [3]

As seen from this verse, Islamic ethics view modesty not as a virtue for women only, but for men as well. Thus, men must also dress modestly, being careful to wear loose flowing and opaque clothes through which the area between their waist and knees are totally covered. Tight pants or translucent clothing is prohibited. This modesty is reflected upon Muslim male clothing throughout the world, long shirts reaching below the thighs, and loose flowing trousers.

It may still seem, however, that women bear the main brunt of ‘dressing modestly’. When one reflects, however, about the predator and the prey in illegal relations between the sexes; the prey which is hidden escapes being a victim. Besides, another verse says modesty in dress actually identifies one as being a believing woman, [4] a ‘target’ which the devout Muslim, or any decent man, would be motivated to protect rather than abuse.

The way to develop modesty is to think about whether he or she would do the sin they are contemplating in front of their parents. A person with a shred of shame in their heart will not commit any lewd act in front of their parents. So what about doing so in front of God? Is not God much worthier that such acts not to be done in His sight? Thus, Islam considers that the modesty of a believer in front of God must be greater than in front of people. This is manifest in the saying of the Prophet when a man asked him about remaining naked in the house while alone. The Prophet responded: “God is more deserving than other people of shyness.” (Abu Dawood)

Early Muslims used to say, “Be shy toward God when you are in private in the same way you are shy in front of people when you are in public.” Another one of their sayings is, “Do not be a devoted slave of God in your public behavior while you are an enemy to Him in your private affairs.”

Modesty can therefore be seen as the means by which morals and ethics in society are maintained and pursued. Shyness from people and society may be a reason to be modest, but this modesty will not remain due to the fact that what is immodest one day in a secular society may be totally acceptable in another. Thus, the key to modesty is knowing that God is aware of what you do and shying away from that which He forbids. God only desires what is best for us. So to seek what is best for us is to submit to what He has in mind for us. The only way to properly know what that is, is to believe in what he sent down to us through His Prophet, Muhammad, and to embrace the religion (Islam) that His Messenger brought us.

Footnotes:
[1] Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim
[2] Ahmad in his work “Az-Zuhd”
[3] Quran 24:60
[4] Quran 33:59

Modesty (Part 2): Stories on Modesty I

Muhammad and Modesty before God

The Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said: “Every religion has its characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.” (al-Muwatta)

Modesty, in the sense of shyly protecting oneself with propriety from the lustful or envious gaze, means one takes care about how to express oneself in word and deed. One does not want others to look at one strangely or as if one is blameworthy. It encourages one to be proper in behavior and thought with other people, and with one’s relationship with God. The Prophet once said to his companions: “Be bashful before God according to His right to modesty before Him.” They said: “O Messenger of God, verily we are shy, praise be to God.” He said: “That is not it. Modesty before God according to His right to modesty is that you protect your mind in what it learns; your stomach in what it ingests. And remember death and the tribulations attached to it; and whoever wishes for the Hereafter, leaves the adornments of this life. So whoever does all that is truly bashful before God according to His right to modesty.” [1]

Modesty and shame apply to every aspect of one’s life, and awareness of God’s presence helps one to be bashful and seemly in the way we comport ourselves in every activity we are engaged in. It crowns the moral ethics of behavior and practice, for it inspires him to do all that is beautiful and prevents him from doing all that is wicked. It is a shield of chastity for the body and of purity for the soul, as private shame concerning one’s wickedness stems from being aware that God is watching. The Prophet said: “Modesty is from the faith, and the faith is in Paradise.” (Ahmed)

Muhammad and the Wedding Feast

On the occasion of his marriage in Medina with Zaynab, the daughter of Jahsh, the Prophet invited the people to his wedding feast. This was a late morning invitation, and most people simply rose and left after eating, as was the custom. The bridegroom, however, remained sitting and some people, perhaps thinking that this was a signal that they, too, should remain with him, stayed behind after the other guests had left. Out of propriety, the Messenger of God did not like to tell the people to go away, so he got up and left the room with his ward, ibn Abbas.

He went as far as the room of Aisha, another of his wives, before returning back to Zaynab’s room, expecting the guests to have taken the hint. However, they were still there, sitting in their places, so he turned away once again and went back to Aisha’s room, still accompanied by his ward.

The second time they returned the people had left, so the Messenger of God went in. Ibn Abbas was going to follow him, but Muhammad took the dividing curtain and drew it across the doorway, blocking the egress. [2]

One of the story’s lessons is that a person’s home is private and one should be shy of abusing an invitation to it. Moreover, because Muhammad was too nice to ask people to leave, his actions provide an example of how to teach a lesson without being offensive. He used a non-verbal means to show the people they should leave and, once his private space was vacated, he used another non-verbal gesture to drive home the fact that the invitation was over.

Moses and Zaphorah

After waiting for a long time in the queue, being only two females among all the males, someone finally helped them, and they were able to take their flock of sheep and goats home. Their father was old, and they had no brother to do their outside chores. Being one of the most onerous of tasks, drawing water from the well in order to water one’s livestock was one performed by men; a lucky day for them to come home early with the drove freshly watered. The father was surprised about their early return, and when he inquired into the occurrence, his daughters told him that a man who seemed a traveler had helped them. The father asked one of them to seek the man out and invite him home. Upon returning to the well, the lady approached him shyly. When she was in earshot, she gave him her father’s invitation so that he might recompense him for his help. He kept his gaze low to the ground as he replied to her, saying that he had done it for the sake of God alone, and required no compensation. However, realizing that this was God sent help, he accepted the invitation. As she was walking ahead of him, the wind blew her dress, which revealed part of her lower legs, so he asked her to walk behind him and point out the way he should follow when he reached a fork in the foot path.

Once they arrived at the house, the father presented him with a meal and asked where he was from. The man told him that he was a fugitive from Egypt. The daughter who had brought him home whispered to her father: “O Father, hire him, because the best of the workers is one who is strong and trustworthy.” He asked her: “How do you know he is strong?” She said: “He lifted the stone lid of the well that cannot be removed except by many together.” He asked her: “How do you know that he is trustworthy?” She said: “He asked me to walk behind him so that he couldn’t see me as I walked, and when I conversed with him, he kept his gaze low with shyness and respect.”

This was Prophet Moses, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, who had run away from Egypt after killing someone by mistake, and the father of the girls was a God fearing man from the tribes of Midian; a man who was sonless, but had had these two daughters.

The verse in the Quran that tells us this story stresses upon the manner of her approaching Moses: “So one of the two (daughters) came to him walking modestly...” (Quran 28:25)

Both the way Zaphorah approached Moses and his care about not seeing more of her than was needful at the time describe acute senses of propriety. Neither had a chaperone, nor could people see what they did, yet both conducted themselves with the utmost decorum. This was done out of fear of the One who sees everything. The outcome was that when her father proposed to Moses that he marry one of his daughters, Moses considered them a suitable marriage prospect. He and his daughters also saw in him all the virtues a man needs as a mate for a woman to consent to his guidance and nurture through life. Moses accepted, and also ten years hired as a shepherd.

Footnotes:
[1] This paraphrases a prophetic narration found in the collection of Tirmidthi.
[2] Ibn Abbas reported the story in a Prophetic narration collected by Al-Bukhari.

Modesty (Part 3 ): Stories on Modesty II

Muhammad and the Rebuilding of the Kaaba

The modesty of Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, was the most prominent trait of his personality. Even from an early age, his sense of shame in an open society of the Arabs prior to Islam was remarkable. In one instance, after the treasures had been stolen from inside, the people were rebuilding the Kaaba with a roof in order to prevent thieves from entering it again. Muhammad, while still a young man, took part. He went with his uncle, al-Abbas, to carry blocks of stone. His uncle told him to put his sarong [1] around his neck to protect himself from the sharp edges of the heavy rocks.

As he moved to comply with this sensible advice, he was overcome with dizziness, and he collapsed in a dead faint. His eyes gazed fixedly skywards as he lay on his back on the ground, his sarong loosened but still covering his privates. A few moments later, he came round, yelling, “My clothing, my clothing!”

Hastily, he wrapped his sarong securely around himself again. Never again in his life would anyone outside the family ever even catch a glimpse of his loins.

The story above was told by one of the Prophet’s companions, Jabir bin Abdullah, and shows Muhammad’s strong sense of shame and propriety about his body was ingrained, even before prophethood. He was known to be more modest than a cloistered virgin both before and after receiving revelation from God.

Moses and the Mockers

Another story about Moses, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, demonstrates that he was as equally bashful and shy about his own body as young Muhammad. He never appeared in front of anyone without fully covering himself, which led some of his people (the Children of Israel) to disparage him hurtfully. They said, “He covers his body in this way only because of some defect in his skin, either leprosy or scrotal hernia, or he has some other defect.”

God wished to clear Moses of what they said about him. One day, when Moses had taken off his clothes and put them on a stone while in seclusion, he started taking a bath. When he had finished the bath, he moved towards his clothes in order to take them and put them on again, but the stone took off with his clothes and fled. Despite his nakedness, Moses picked up his stick and ran after the stone saying, “O stone! Give me my clothes!”

But the stone continued to flee until it reached a group of Israelites, where it stopped. That is how they were able to see him naked, finding in his form the best of what God had created.
Thus God cleared him of what they had accused him of. Moses, however, was rather upset. He took his clothes and hastily put them on, and then started hitting the stone with his stick. The Prophet of Islam, the one who narrated the story, swore that the stone still had some traces of the hitting, even today; three, four or five marks. That was what God refers to in His saying: “O you who believe! Be not like those who annoyed Moses, but God proved his innocence about that which they alleged. And he was honorable in God’s sight.” (Quran 33:69)

This story shows how shy Moses was about letting his body be seen in public. In fact, only his anger at being deprived of the barrier between his body and the world led him to allow the whole of his body to be seen, the exposure of which was by God’s will in order to clear him of the slander applied by his detractors. Of course, he could not hold that exposure against God, so he took it out on the rock – the means by which his exposure was engineered, and hence his innocence was established from what his slanderers alleged.

Muhammad and the Garden Well

What is respectable to view between people of course varies. How much of a woman’s body can be exposed to a husband is different from what she can expose to her brother, which in turn differs from what can be seen by a complete stranger, and vice-versa. This is true concerning what is permissible to see between people of the same sex, too. What a father, brother or son can respectably view of each other is different from what a man outside the family circle is permitted to see, as what a mother, daughter or sister can view of each other in contrast to a strange woman.

Once, when the Prophet went into a garden, he asked his companion, Abu Musa al-Asharee, to guard its gate. In the garden was a well, and he sat upon its wall dangling his legs inside it. After a while, Abu Bakr came by, wanting to enter the garden. Abu Musa went to tell the Prophet that his father-in-law wanted to share the garden with him, so the Prophet said, “Tell him the good news that the gardens of Paradise await him, and let him in.”

So Abu Bakr, Aisha’s father, went into the garden and sat beside the prophet, whose sarong was pulled up to just above his knees, and dangled his legs in the well with him. A little later, Umar al-Khattab turned up. He wanted to relax in the garden, too. Again Abu Musa sought the Prophet’s permission for him, informing him of another of his father-in-law’s presence at the gate. He said, “Tell him the good news that the gardens of Paradise await him, and let him in.”

Umar, Hafsa’s father, took the free place beside the Prophet, and dangled his legs in the water next to him.

Both of these men had had the sensitivity to sit next to the prophet, and thus the prophet was able to preserve propriety without having to pull his lower garment over his knees.

Some time after that, his son-in-law, Uthman al-Affan, whom his daughter Ruqayyah had married, also sought entrance to the garden. When Abu Musa transmitted the Prophet’s message by saying, ‘The gardens of Paradise await you after some trials,’ and let him in, Uthman observed that the only free spaces on the wall were on one of the three walls that the Prophet and his fathers-in-law were not occupying, which meant he might see more of the Prophet’s legs than they. As he hesitated, the Prophet pulled his sarong down over his knees, so Uthman took the place opposite him. [2]

Islam teaches that there are some parts of the body that should not be revealed in public, and the closer these parts are to one’s privates, the more they are prohibited to reveal. Although all three men who sat with him had close family ties with him, which is why he let his knees be seen, when the Prophet’s thighs were threatened by exposure, he took steps to hide them.

Footnotes:
[1] A cotton cloth wrapped around the waist, covering lower body to the calves/shins. Worn by men in Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand these days, and used by Arab men before (but called izar).
[2] One lesson interpreted from this story was that it constituted a sign that his fathers-in-law would be buried next to him when they died, but his son-in-law would be buried somewhat removed, as indeed actually happened. (Fath-al-Bari)

Source: http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/21/viewall/

Forgiveness, the Mark of a Believer by Kamal el Mekki

Patience by Kamal el Mekki

40 Hadîth on the Islâmic Personality by Shaykh 'Alee Hasan 'Alee 'Abdul Hameed

1. Purity and Sincerity of Intention

From 'Umar ibn al-Khattâb (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Actions are but by intentions and there is for every person only that which he intended. So he whose migration was for Allâh and His Messenger, then his migration was for Allâh and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to attain some worldly goal or to take a woman in marriage, then his migration was for that which he migrated." (7)

So the pillar of actions is pure and sincere intention, and through purity of intention the hearts become upright and at rest, and through it the person comes to know the right way in his religion, thus he does everything in the proper manner. Through purity of intention alone will he come to know of the obligations upon him and the rights due to him. Through it he will behave justly in all affairs and will give everything its due right, not going beyond bounds or falling short of the mark.

So this hadîth is one of the ahadîth which are the pillars of correct understanding of our upright and true religion. (8)

So when the Muslim servant clearly realizes what he has preceded then it becomes obligatory upon him that he should, without any hesitation, surround his sincere intention with the protective barrier for the Islâmic personality which is:

2. Distinctness

From Ibn 'Umar (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "I have been sent before the hour so that Allâh alone should be worshipped without any partner for Him, and my provision has been placed beneath the shade of my spear, and subservience and humiliation have been placed upon those who disobey my orders, and whoever imitates a people then he is one of them." (9)

The Muslim has a distinct personality with its own special nature and particular outlook and manner. It is distinct in its appearance, its nature, its creed ('aqîdah), its orientation and direction faced in prayer, and in all its affairs.

By being distinct as Muslims, we preserve our Islâm and our call in a clear and pure form, free from any adulteration and mistakes. However the Muslim whilst being distinct does not depart from:

3. Justice and Being Justly Balanced

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger(salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Love the one whom you love to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be someone for whom you have hatred, and hate the one for whom you have hatred to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be one whom you love." (10)

The Muslim is justly balanced in his loving and his hating. He is just both when giving and when taking and is moderate in all of that. His being justly balanced is one of the signs of his religion and the Sharî'ah. So he is not one who goes beyond the limits, nor one who falls short of what is required. Furthermore, the Muslim does not derive this quality of being justly balanced from his intellect and desires, nor from his own opinion or other than this, rather he takes it from the book of Allâh, the One free of all imperfections.

"Thus we have made you a justly balanced nation that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) be a witness over you." (11)

Being justly balanced is not an easy matter, indeed many of those who call out and declare it, desire only to water matters down and compromise. So for a person to be truly justly balanced as ordered by Allâh is not, as I have said, easy, rather it requires:

4. Striving Against One's Desires

From al-'Alâ ibn Ziyâd who said: "A man asked 'Abdullâh ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas, saying: Which of the believers is best in his Islâm? He replied: "He from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe." He asked: Then what is the best Jihâd? He replied: "He who strives against his own self and desires for Allâh." He asked: Then which of those who migrates (performs hijrah) is best? He replied: "He who strives against his own self and desires for Allâh." He asked: Is it something you have said O 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr, or Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam)? He said: Rather Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said it." (12)

So striving against ones own self is one of the highest and most valuable means of increasing ones eemaan and causing the servant to draw closer to his Lord, the One free of all imperfections. Concerning this He, the Blessed and Most High says: "As for those who strive hard in Us (Our cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allâh's religion)." (13)

So a Muslim's striving against his own self and his desires causes his spirit to rise higher, his îmân to increase and his soul to become purified. Furthermore, this striving crowns the Muslim with a very great crown worn in his life, which is:

5. Gentleness

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Indeed Allâh is gentle and loves gentleness, and gives due to gentleness that which He does not give to harshness." (14)

So through gentleness, hearts become united in friendship and love, and good becomes widespread. Whereas through its opposite, ill feelings and distrust prevails and people forsake one another. But gentleness facilitates:

6. Returning to the Truth

From Ibn 'Abbâs (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "There is no believing servant except that he has a sin which he commits from time to time, or a sin in which he persists in and does not abandon until he leaves this world. Indeed the believer was created as one who is frequently tried and tested, who often repents (then) forgets. When he is admonished he accepts the admonition." (15)

So it is as is said: returning to the truth is a virtue whereas continuing in falsehood is despicable. Returning to the truth elevates a person and raises his rank, both with Allâh and the people. Indeed it is only Satan who makes it appear to the people that returning to the truth is a defect and a slight to one's honor. This is one of the deceptions and tricks employed by Iblees. A person returning to the truth and not being too proud to accept it places him in an ideal position to appreciate:

7. Responsibility

From 'Umar (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Each of you is a guardian and is responsible for those whom he is in charge of. So the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for those under his care; a woman is a guardian of her husband's home and is responsible for those under her care; a servant is the guardian of his master's wealth and is responsible for that which he is entrusted with; and a man is the guardian of his father's wealth and is responsible for what is under his care. So each one of you is a guardian and is responsible for what he is entrusted with." (16)

So if everyone from this Ummah knew his own position and worth, and realized the responsibility upon him and did not seek to overstep it and take on the responsibilities of others and he carried out the obligations which this placed upon him, then that would be a comprehensive and universal good and a very great treasure through which safety and security would become widespread. Along with this something that is a feature of the Islâmic personality is:

8. The Muslim Seeks to Make Excuses for Other Muslims

From Sa'd ibn 'Ubaadah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "…and there is no one who loves to accept an excuse more than Allâh, and because of this he sent the bringers of good news and the warners…." (17)

So a Muslim seeking to make an excuse for his brother and those whom he loves will cause good will to spread instead of antagonism, and will bring about ties of relationship instead of estrangement. Since if Allâh, He who is free of all imperfections, grants excuse, and He is the Creator and the Most Great, then how can you O servant of Allâh, a weak creation of his, not seek to make excuses for others? Rather as is said: seek an excuse for your brother (18).

Likewise, there is the saying: the believers seek to make excuses for others, whereas the hypocrites hope for the downfall of others. So the fact that the Muslim seeks to excuse his brothers emphasizes that:

9. The Muslim does not Harbor Envy

From Ibn Mas'ood (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "There is to be no envy except with regard to two (19): A man whom Allâh has given wealth which he strives to spend righteously, and a man to whom Allâh has given the wisdom (i.e. the Qur'aan) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others." (20)

If he were to have envy of the people he would hope for their downfall in order to satisfy the pride that he has in himself, his vanity and the conceitedness of his mind. So he (the Muslim) knows that envy is a dangerous disease and a harmful evil and therefore keeps away from it. As for the envy which is accepted from that which is sinful, then it is envy which does not cause the person to be afflicted by the sickness of wishing for that blessing to leave the other person. Rather he supplicates to his Lord, the One free of all imperfections, for his brother; that Allâh should protect him, and for himself; that Allâh should make him like him. As for that which is at variance with this, then it is blameworthy and to be condemned (21). So this emphasizes the fact that the Muslim is one who is:

10. Following and Applying Divine Guidance

From Umm ud-Dardâ (radiyAllâhu 'anhaa) who said: I said to Abû Dardâ (radiyAllâhu 'anhu): Will you not seek for things to entertain your guests just as others seek for things for their guests? So he replied: I heard Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) say: "Ahead of you is a steep mountain which will not be surmounted by those who are overburdened." So I wish to lighten my load for that ascent! (22)

So the Muslim follows and applies divine guidance in all his affairs. This world to him is merely a passage to the hereafter and he has no attachment to it except for that which is essential in order to meet his needs and preserve himself.

But as for this world diverting most of his attention and being the goal which he seeks after, thinking that what he is doing is good, then this is not from the character or characteristics of the Muslim. So how strange is the case of the people who waste the prime of their lives and expend their youth submerged in worldly actions, thinking they are doing good. This is indeed something from Satan, made alluring by him. So how are there people able to do this when it is the case that:

11. The Muslim Has No Free Time

From Ibn 'Abbaas (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "There are two blessings which many people lose: health and free time." (23)

So how can one who has no free time preoccupy himself with this world? How can one whose time is filled experience free time? So consider, may Allâh have Mercy upon you, what one of the scholars said about one of the Imaams: 'I was a neighbor of his at the school in Cairo, my house was above his house. For twelve years, I did not awake on any night, at any hour of the night except that I noticed candle light in his house and he was occupied with knowledge. Even when he was eating, his books would be with him and he was occupied with them (24). From those things upon which the Muslim personality is built is:

12. The Muslim's Piety and Self Restraint

From an-Nu'maan ibn Basheer (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that I heard Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) say: "That which is lawful is clear, and that which is forbidden is clear, and between them are doubtful matters about which many of the people have no knowledge. So whoever avoids doubtful matters saves his religion and his honor, and whoever falls into doubtful matters falls into what is forbidden. Just like a shepherd who grazes (his sheep) near to a private pasture (of another), he will soon stray on to it. Indeed for every king there is a private preserve. Indeed the preserve of Allâh are those things which He has forbidden. Indeed there is a piece of flesh in the body which if it is good, then the whole body is good, but if it is corrupt then the whole body is corrupt. Indeed it is the heart." (25)

So the Muslim with regard to whatever situation arises in his life will have to face each of them with one of the following three stances:
1. Completely refraining from it: That is with regards to that which is doubtful
2. Accepting without constraint: That is with regard to which is clearly permissible
3. To abstain from it: This is with regards to things which are not clearly permissible nor
clearly forbidden.

If the last stance indicates something it is an indication of a Muslim's piety and fear of falling into that which is forbidden and of entering into something evil.

The Muslim therefore abstains from it, and distances himself from it in order to please Allâh and to ensure that His commands are followed. It is not to be said, as some people say: 'That is not forbidden, so do it.' No, since it is not permissible to do everything other than which has been forbidden. So those things which are doubtful matters are closer to that which is forbidden, as occurs in the hadîth itself: 'Whoever falls into the doubtful matters falls into what is forbidden….' So this fear and piety confirms that:

13. The Muslim is Honest and Truthful in All his Affairs

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Three things are the sign of the hypocrite: when he speaks he tells lies, when he promises he breaks it and when he is trusted he proves to be dishonest." (26)

So he is truthful and honest in his speech, faithful to his promise, trustworthy in carrying out that which he has been entrusted with. He does not deceive or defraud, he does not tell lies and is not guilty of hypocrisy. So truthfulness and honesty is one of the chief good qualities, whereas falsehood is the head of corruption and evil. So his honesty keeps him far away from evil and foul deeds and sickness of the heart. Therefore whatever action he does, he does it for Allâh, the One free and far removed from all defects, not to attain some worldly position, fame or repute. So his motto is:

14. Knowledge for Knowledge

From Jaabir (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'aliahi wa'sallam) said: "Do not acquire knowledge in order to compete with the scholars, nor to argue with the ignorant, nor to gain mastery over the gatherings. Since whoever does that, then: the Fire! the Fire!" (27)

Consider, May Allâh have mercy on you, the admonition and the lesson contained in what Ibn Abee Haatim ar-Raazee narrates, he said: I entered into Damascus upon the students of hadîth and I passed by the circle of Qaasim al-Joo'ee. I found a group sitting around him and he was speaking. Their appearance amazed me and I heard him saying: 'Seize the benefit of five things from the people of your time: when you are present you are not known; when you are absent you are not missed; when you are seen your advice is not sought; when you say something your saying is not accepted; and when you have some knowledge you are not given anything for it. I also advise you with five things: when you are treated unjustly then do not behave unjustly; when you are praised then do not become happy; when you are criticized do not be upset; when you are not believed then do not become angry; and if they act deceitfully towards you do not act deceitfully towards them.' Ibn Abee Haatim said: So I took that as my benefit from Damascus.

So consider, May Allâh protect us and you from the evils of the soul, how sincere desire for knowledge and benefit led him to listen to one who certainly possessed less knowledge than himself in order to benefit his understanding and to acquire some knowledge. Another matter that must be mentioned here is that:

15. The Believer is a Mirror for his Brother

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger(salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "The believer is a mirror for the believer, and the believer is the brother of the believer. He safeguards his property for him and defends him from behind." (28)

So the description of his being a 'mirror' is very precise and profound showing the culmination of brotherhood and solidarity. So your brother, O servant of Allâh, is an image of you yourself.

So if he behaves badly, it is as if you are the one who has behaved badly, and if he makes a mistake, it is as if you have made a mistake. So he is a mirror for you and an image of you yourself! So do not treat him except with mildness and gentleness. If you do not behave with your brother in this manner, then this will be something which weakens:

16. The Muslim's Struggle Against his Devil

From Iyaad ibn Himaar al Mujaashi'ee (radiyAllâhu anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Indeed my Lord ordered me to teach you that which you do not know, from that which He taught me this day, (instructing me): 'The wealth which I confer upon a servant is all lawful for him, and I created all My servants having natural inclination to the true way but the devils came to them and turned them away from their (true) religion, and they forbade for them that which I made lawful for them, and they ordered them to associate in worship with Me that for which I sent down no authority.' Allâh looked upon the people of the earth and hated them, the Arabs and the non-Arabs, except for some remnants of the people of the book, and He said: 'I sent you only to put you to the test and to tests others through you, and I sent down to you a book which cannot be washed away by water, which you will retain and recite whilst asleep and whilst awake.' Allâh ordered me to destroy the Quraysh so I said: 'O my Lord they would break my head just as bread is broken.' So He said: 'Turn them out just as they turned you out, and fight them and We shall aid you, and spend and We shall provide for you. Send an army and We will send five more like it. Fight with those who disobey you. The people of paradise are three: The ruler who is just, who spends in charity and is guided to do good; and a man who is merciful and kind hearted towards every relative and Muslim; and the chaste one who does not beg despite having a family to support. The people of the fire are five: The weak who does not have the will to avoid evil, those amongst you whom are merely followers (of others), they do not seek after family or wealth; and the dishonest whose greed cannot be concealed even in the case of minor things; and a man who will betray you morning and evening with regard to your family and your wealth (he also mentioned miserliness or telling lies) and the person of evil manners and foul speech.'" (29)

So this is very ancient conflict, continuing since the time when Allâh, the One free and far removed from all defects, created Aadam 'alaihis-salaam, and what occurred between him and Satan is well known. This conflict will be intensified or diminished depending on the servant's closeness to or distance away from his Lord. Consider also his (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) saying: Satan has despaired that those who pray should worship him, but he seeks to provoke animosity between them. (30)

So let this be a warning for us, and its opposite be glad tidings. We must not leave any way for Satan to enter upon our hearts through our actions, granting him neither full nor partial access. Indeed his deceptions are many and his traps abundant. (31)

So beware of this, O servant of Allâh, and do not let Satan trap you with his snares and his tricks, and your impregnable fortress against him is:

17. Remembrance of Allâh

From Nu'maan ibn Basheer (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said:
"Supplication (ad-Du'aa) is worship, your Lord the Mighty and Majestic said: 'Call upon Me – I will respond to your invocation.'(32)" (33)

Supplication is the head of remembrance of Allâh. Indeed he (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "…and I order you to make mention of Allâh much, and the like of that is a man being chased by the enemy who are hastening after him until he comes to a protected fortress and so he protects himself in it. Likewise is the servant, for he does not protect himself from Satan except through remembrance of Allâh, the Mighty and Majestic. (34)

So a Muslim remembering his Lord, the One free and far removed from all defects, places him in a position of safety and protection which Satan is unable to overcome. So this prevents him from many sins and numerous negative traits pertaining to the tongue, the limbs and the heart. Therefore:

18. The Muslim Does Not Fall into Backbiting

From Ibn 'Umar (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Whoever intercedes and prevents one of the punishments prescribed by Allâh, the Mighty and Majestic, then he has opposed Allâh regarding His orders. Whoever dies with a debt due on him then it will not be repaid by dinaars and dirhams but rather by good and bad deeds. Whoever disputes for something which he knows is false then he remains in Allâh's anger until he desists. Whoever accuses a believer of something that is untrue then Allâh will make him dwell in the pus flowing from the inhabitants of the Fire and he will not leave until he retracts from what he said." (35)

So the lethal plague of backbiting destroys one's good deeds, destroys brotherhood and destroys one's reward. So the true Muslim does not backbite, nor does he allow backbiting to take place in his presence. So let those people fear Allâh, those whose bodies do not develop and those whose spirit is not fed except upon spreading rumours and inventing lies against the servants of Allâh claiming that 'this is for the benefit of da'wah!'

How strange! What benefit to the da'wah will be achieved through slandering, backbiting and mentioning bad manners to others? Do you think, O you who backbites the people that you are far removed from defect? O you who can only see the deficiencies of others, do you think that you are free from any mistakes? '…rather you are full of deficiencies and the people have tongues!' Also from those things which must be known is that:

19. The Muslim Does Not Pry into the Matters that Do Not Concern Him

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said: "From the perfection of a person's Islâm is that he leaves alone that which does not concern him." (36)

So he halts at his limits and does not exceed and pass beyond them. He knows that prying into that which does not concern him and asking about it is not fitting for him. Rather it is forbidden for him and something he has to avoid. So he complies with Allâh's orders and keeps away from what he has forbidden, since:

20. All of his Actions are for Allâh

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said: "Whoever loves for Allâh and hates for Allâh, gives for Allâh and withholds for Allâh, then he has completed eemaan." (37, 38)

So this hadîth clearly shows the manner in which the believer conducts all his affairs and behaves in all his dealings, all of them are for Allâh and he does not give a share in any of them to other than Him, the One free and far removed from all imperfections. In all his affairs he distances himself from seeking after personal gain and enjoyment. In his loving and hating, giving and withholding he seeks only Allâh's pleasure and His paradise. He does not seek after the worldly positions, wealth or reputation! Then if he falls into the like of this he repents and turns back (to his Lord), so:

21. The Muslim Repents and Turns Back to Allâh

From Abû Sa'îd al-Khudrî (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said: "The example of the believer with regards to eemaan is like the example of a horse with regards to it’s tethering stake; it roams around and then returns to it’s tethering stake, and the believer is negligent and then he turns to his eemaan. So feed the pious with your food and treat the believers well." (39)

So he does not persist upon sin, or treat it lightly. Rather like the rest of the children of Aadam he commits many sins. However, he is frequent in turning back in repentance to his Lord. So what has proceeded will clearly show us:

22. The Essential Characteristics of his Personality

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said: "Two characteristics are not found together in a hypocrite: good manners and understanding of the religion." (40)

So his manners are the manners of the righteous people, and his behavior is that of the servants of the Lord of the worlds. He emulates the pious and follows in the footsteps of the sincere. His heart and his behavior agree, he is not like the weak who take pains to put on a good appearance whereas their hearts are empty! His knowledge and understanding of the religion is deep and springs from a good and sensitive heart, and precise memory. However his good manners and knowledge and understanding of the religion do not prevent him from:

23. Honest Jesting

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said: We said: O Messenger of Allâh! You jest with us? He said (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam): "Yes except that I do not say except what is true." (41)

So falsehood has no share of this, and lies cannot approach it. So his jesting is with words that are true. Nor does this mean that he is to spend all his time in lightheartedness and jesting. Rather in this and in all matters he follows the footsteps of the Companions, May Allâh be pleased with them all and their way in this regard:

24. A Time for This and a Time for That

From Hanzalah al-Usayyidee who said: "Abu Bakr met me and asked: How are you O Hanzalah? I replied: Hanzalah is guilty of hypocrisy! He said: Free is Allâh and far removed from all defects! What are you saying? I said: When we are with Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) and he reminds us of the Fire and Paradise it is as if we were seeing it with our own eyes. Then when we depart from Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) and attend our wives, our children and our business, then much of this slips from our mind. Abu Bakr said: By Allâh we also experience the same. So I went with Abu Bakr until we entered upon Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam). I said: Hanzalah is guilty of hypocrisy O Messenger of Allâh (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam). So Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: And how is that? I said: When we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and of Paradise and it is as if we are seeing it with our own eyes. Then when we depart from you and attend our wives, our children and our business then much of this slips from our minds. So Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam said: By Him in whose hand is my soul if you remained continually as you are when you are with me and in remembering (Allâh) then the angels would shake hands with you upon your beds and upon your roads. But O Hanzalah, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that." (42)

So both of these times are regulated by the orders of Allâh, as has proceeded. His time for serious matters is regulated according to the book and the Sunnah, and his jesting is kept free of anything forbidden and accompanied only by that which Allâh has prescribed.

So he does not, through negligence, allow his jesting to become a way in which he falls into sin. Indeed how could he do this when:

25. He Does Not Take Sins Lightly

From Sahl ibn Sa'd (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "Beware of sins which are treated as being minor, just like a people who encamp in the centre of a valley, so someone brings a stick of firewood and someone else brings a stick until they are therefore able to bake their bread. Likewise sins which are treated as being minor and for which the person is taken to account will destroy him." (43)

So it is just as the noble companion 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood said: The believer sees his sins as if he were sitting beneath a mountain which he feared was about to fall upon him, whereas the wicked sees his sins like a man who finds a fly settle upon his nose, so he does this (one of the narrators said: He brushes it away from his nose). (44)

The Muslim should realize the Greatness of his Lord, the One free and far from all imperfections, and His tremendous Power and Might, and he should not think of the sin as being great or small! Rather he should think of it with regard to the One he is disobeying.

Those sins which are ignored by the weak hearted cause their destruction by removing eemaan and fear of Allâh from their hearts.

When a person regards sins and acts of disobedience as something slight, then he is one who is oppressing his own soul, and that should never occur, since:

26. The Muslim does not Commit Oppression

From Jaabir ibn 'Abdullah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu
'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Beware of committing oppression for on the Day of Resurrection oppression will be darkness, and beware of avarice for avarice destroyed those who came before you, it led them into shedding blood and into making lawful that which was forbidden for them." (45)

Oppression is of two types:
1) a person oppressing his own soul and
2) his oppressing others.

Both of these have been forbidden by Allâh, the One free and far from all imperfections. So a person oppressing his own soul causes him to feel at home with his sins and to commit them, and causes him to abandon acts of obedience to Allâh. The true Muslim is far removed from all of this and furthermore:

27. He is not a Carrier of Malicious Reports

From Anas ibn Maalik (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: Do you know what calumny (al-'Adh) is? They said: Allâh and his Messenger
(salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) know best. He said: "Conveying the words of some people to others in order to create mischief between them." (46)

Tale-carrying is a foul disease; when it enters the heart it corrupts it, and when the heart is corrupt the rest of the body becomes corrupt and ones actions are destroyed.

The sickness of tale-carrying only finds a place in hearts which are filled with love of this world, the hearts of those who use the religion for lowly and despicable ends, and we seek Allâh's refuge from that! However, as for the sincere Muslim who strives to follow and apply the guidance sent by his Lord, then:

28. He is not Attached to this World

From Sahl ibn Aa'd (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "Jibreel came to me and said: O Muhammad! Live as you will for you must certainly die; love whom you will since you must certainly leave him; act as you will since you shall certainly be given due reward for it; know that the believers eminence is his standing in prayer during the night, and his honor is having sufficiency without dependency upon the people." (47)

The person who lives attached to this world is poor with regard to his religion and intellect, he does not realize that this world, for the one having no religion is the road to degradation, the path to corruption and the key to evil and foul deeds. Whereas the Muslim who is sincere to his Lord and his own soul and with his brothers should be an excellent example to those who thirst after this world and the few dirhams and deenaars.

This should be a lesson for them that there is no good in that, and that good lies only in taking this world as a means of increasing one's rank with regard to the religion and seeking to purify one's heart. However these two will not be achieved except through:

29. Disassociation from this World

From Aboo Umaamah Iyaas ibn Tha'labah who said: The Companions of Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) mentioned this world one day in his presence, so Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Will you not listen, will you not listen! Wearing old clothes is part of eemaan, wearing old clothes is part of eemaan!" (48)

Zuhd (abstemiousness) is to have little regard for this world, to manifest ones poverty and need before Allâh, to treat the servants of Allâh kindly and gently, to avoid spending lavishly upon clothing, food and drink, and to avoid fame.

Zuhd is not the rejection of the favors of Allâh, the One free and far removed from all defects, bestowed upon some of His servants, rather it is as Shaykhul-Islâm Ibn Taymiyyah, rahimahullaah, said: Keep away from that which does not bring benefit, either because it contains no benefit at all, or because something other than it is more beneficial, so that by doing the first he would be missing greater benefit, or because it will produce something whose harm will grow to outweigh its benefit. But as regards to things which are purely beneficial or predominantly, then avoidance of them is stupidity. (49) Therefore there is to be no abstemiousness with regards to:

30. Good Actions

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "Charity (sadaqah) is due upon every joint of a person on every day that the sun rises. Administering justice between two people is an act of charity; and to help a man concerning his riding animal by helping him on to it or lifting his luggage on to it is an act of charity; a good word is charity; and every step which you take to prayer is charity; and removing that which is harmful from the road is charity." (50)

So if the servant is able to spend all his days and nights in obedience to Allâh, and in doing actions pleasing to Him, then let him do so! [Author's text abridged hereafter]

Even though abstemiousness is to be given special attention by the rich due to their ability to spend and their wealth, as opposed to the poor, then this will not prevent the Muslim, rich or poor, from having a contented and rich soul, since:

31. The Muslim is Contented and Satisfied

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "Richness is not having many belongings, but richness is the richness of the soul (contentment)." (51)

So the greatest of riches you can attain, O servant of Allâh, is contentment of ones soul, and having a contented heart and this will not be achieved except through humbling oneself before
Allâh, the One free from and far removed from all defects, and calling upon Him in supplication and in placing reliance upon Him. So he whose soul is contented and rich will increase in his:

32. Devotion to the Religion of Islâm

From Ka'b ibn Maalik al-Ansaaree (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said: "Two hungry wolves let loose amongst sheep will not cause more harm to them than a persons craving after wealth and status will do to his religion." (52)

So flee, May Allâh have mercy upon you, from this mad craving after this world and its finery, and there is no salvation from that which has been destined for a person. [Author's text abridged hereafter]

So he who wishes for salvation then let it be the case that his desire for his religion is his foundation and guiding principle, if this is so then Allâh will protect him and protect his religion. Then from the comprehensive matters that should be known is:

33. How the Muslim Deals With People

From Aa'ishah (radiyAllâhu 'anhaa) who said that a man sought permission to enter upon the
Prophet (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam), so he said: "Give permission to him and what a bad son of his people (or: what a bad man of his people). Then when he entered he spoke politely to him. Aa'ishah said: So I said: O Messenger of Allâh, you said about him what you said and then you spoke politely to him? He said: O Aa'ishah the worst people in station before Allâh on the Day of Resurrection are those whom the people desert, or abandon, in order to save themselves from their evil speech." (54) [Author's text abridged hereafter]

It will also not be hidden that one of the best ways of cementing ties and improving relations is:

34. Visiting Brothers

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "A man went out to visit a brother of his in a different village, so Allâh, the Most High, put an angel in wait for him in the road. So when the angel came to him he said: Where are you going? He said: I am going to visit a brother in this village. He said: Is it that you have done something for him for which you seek repayment? He said: No, it is just that I love him for Allâh's sake. He said: Then I am one sent by Allâh to you (to inform you) that Allâh, the Mighty and Majestic, loves you, just as you have loved for His sake." (55) [Author's text abridged hereafter]

(Paradise) cannot be attained unless the incentive for it is:

35. The Muslim's Character

From Abu Darda (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "There is nothing which is heavier upon the balance than the good character." (56)

So by his character the Muslim turns enemies into friends, opponents into companions, and harsh people into those who are mild. Character is a commodity which is almost something rare amongst the people today, except amongst those who sincerely worship Allâh alone, Who are honest and true in the worship of the Lord of the worlds. So good character refines the soul and enables that:

36. The Muslim Knows His Own Worth

From Abû Hurayrah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi
wa'sallam) said: "There will come upon the people years of deceit in which the liar will be believed, the truthful disbelieved, the treacherous will be trusted and the trustworthy held to be treacherous, and the despicable (ar-Ruwaybidah) will speak out. It was said: Who are the despicable ones (ar-Ruwaybidah)? He said: The lowly, ignoble man who speaks out about the public affairs." (57) [Author's text abridged hereafter]

So it is binding upon the obedient servant that he should:

37. Hope for Good for Himself and His Brothers

From Jundub (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that the Messenger of Allâh (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) narrated: "That a man said: By Allâh, Allâh will not forgive so and so. Whereas Allâh, the Most High said: Who is it who swears by Me that I will not forgive so and so, for I have forgiven so and so, and have rendered your actions futile." (59) [Author's text abridged hereafter]

The fear and hope that a Muslim has for his brothers does not prevent him from carrying out what Allâh has established with regard to:

38. Ordering Good and Forbidding Evil

From Aboo Sa'eed al-Khudree (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said: "Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) stood amongst us to deliver an address, and from his address was that he said: Indeed it is about to occur that I will be called and will respond. Then after me will follow rulers over you who say what they have knowledge of, and act upon what they know. Obedience to them is obedience to me, and you remain like that for a time. Then there will follow rulers over you after them who say what they do not have knowledge of and act according to what they do not have knowledge of. So whoever is sincere to them and assists them, or strengthens them then they are destroyed and have caused destruction. Accompany them with your bodies and differ with them by your actions, and bear witness for the doer of good from them that he is a doer of good, and for the doer of evil that he is a doer of evil." (63) [Author's text abridged hereafter]

In ordering good and forbidding evil, the Muslim is careful of:

39. Being Cautious to Avoid Animosity and Dissention

From Jaabir ibn 'Abdullah (radiyAllâhu 'anhu) who said that Allâh's Messenger said: "Indeed Satan has despaired that those who pray should worship (him) in the Arabian peninsular, however (he seeks) to provoke animosity between them." (65)

So perhaps a word which one does not realize escapes from his tongue and it falls upon one of the servants of Allâh, or a mistake he makes, perhaps this will cause a great fire to blaze in the hearts of the brothers.

This is the most Satan desires and it causes him to be joyful and happy. So what we have indicated certainly occurs and is bound to occur and it leads to widespread evil and great danger, so since this is the case, then what is:

40. The Means to Escape the Trial which Befalls the People

From Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (radiyAllâhu 'anhumaa) who said: "How will you be when you are covered by a trial in which the young grow up and the old become infirm. If anything of it is abandoned it is said: The Sunnah has been abandoned. It was said: When will that occur, O Aboo Abdur Rahman? He said: When your scholars pass away, and those ignorant amongst you become many; when those who recite amongst you are many, but those who have understanding of the religion are few; when your leaders are many, but those who are trustworthy are few; when this world is sought with actions of the Hereafter; and when knowledge is sought for other than the religion." (66)

So the means of escape is to follow the example provided for us! Indeed obeying and following Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) is the greatest escape from the trials which envelop us.

So for Allâh, O servants of Allâh, learn, act, and fear Allâh and obey Him that you may be shown mercy.

Footnotes:
7. Reported by al-Bukhari (English Translation Volume 1 Page 1 No. 1) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. Vol. 3, page 1056, no. 4692)
8. At-Taqyeed (2/6-7) of Ibn Nuqtah
9. Reported by Ahmad (no. 5114) and others with hasan (good) isnaad (chain of narration). I have spoken about it in more detail in my footnotes to al-Hikamul Jadeerah bil Idhaa'ah (pg. 1-3) of Ibn Rajab
10. Reported by at-Tirmidhee (no. 1997) and others by way of Suwayd ibn 'Amr al-Kalbee: Hammad ibn Salamah narrated to us from Ayyoob as-Sakhtiyanee from Muhammad ibn Seereen from him. This isnaad is Saheeh (authentic) if Allâh wills, it does not contain anyone needing examination except for Suwayd and he is declared reliable by a group of the scholars and this is the preferred view of al-Haafidh Ib Hajr. The hadîth is also declared authentic by a group of scholars such as al-Haafidh al-Iraaqee in Takhreejul Ihyaa (2/186), al-Munaawee in al-Fayd (1/177), az-Zubaydee in al-Ittihaf (6/233) and others, and is further clarified in Ghaayatul Maraam (no. 472) of Shaikh al-Albaanee.
11. Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 143
12. Reported by Ibn Nasr al-Marwazee in Ta'zeem Qadris Salaat (no. 639)
13. Soorah al-Ankaboot (29):69
14. Reported by Ibn Majah (no. 3688) and Ibn Hibaan (no. 549)
15. Reported by at-Tabaraanee in al-Mu'jamul Kabeer (no. 11,810) its chain of narration is hasan.
16. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 9/189/no.252) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. 3/1017/no.4496)
17. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 9/378/no.512) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. 2/782/no. 3572)
18. Some people quote this as being a hadîth but it has no basis as such.
19. See Fath ul Bari (1/167)
20. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 1/62/no.73)
21. Refer to the treatise Dhammul Hasad wa Ahlihi of Ibn ul Qayyim with my footnotes and checking.
22. It is reported by al-Haakim (4/574), al-Baihaqee in Shu'abul Eemaan and others and its chain of narration is saheeh.
23. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 8/282/no.421)
24. Bustaanul 'Aarifeen (p.79) of an-Nawawee
25. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 1/44/no.49) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. 3/840/no.3882)
26. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 1/31/no.32) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. 1/40/no.112)
27.
28. Reported by al-Bukharee in al-Adab ul Mufrad (no. 239), Aboo Dawood (Eng. Trans. 3/1370/no.4900) and others. Its chain of narration is hasan.
29. Reported by Muslim (Eng. Trans. 4/1488/no.6853)
30. See hadîth Number 39
31. Refer to my book al-Muntaqan Nafees min Talbees Iblees and Mawridul Amaan min Masaayidish Shaitan and May Allâh through His grace and favor make easy its completion.
32. Soorah Ghaafir (40):60
33. Saheeh – reported by Ahmad (4/267, 271, 276) and others
34. Hadîth 40 in Forty hadîth on the Call to Islâm and the Caller
35. Reported by Ahmad (no. 5385) and others
36. Reported by at-Tirmidhee (no.2318) and others
37.
38. Reported by Aboo Dawood (Eng. Trans. Vol.3/p.1312/no.3664) and others, with chain of narration being hasan
39. Reported by Ahmad (3/38, 55)
40. Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no.2685)
41. Reported by at-Tirmidhee in as-Sunan (no.1991)
42. Reported by Muslim (Eng. Trans. Vol.4, p.1436, no.6223)
43. Reported by Ahmad (5/331) and others
44. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 8/214/no.320)
45. Reported by Muslim (Eng. Trans. 4/1366/no.6248)
46. Reported by al-Bukharee, al-Baihaqee and others
47. Reported by al-Haakim (4/324) and others.
48. Reported by Aboo Dawood (Eng. Trans. 3/1158/no.4149) and its chain of narration is hasan
49. Majmoo'ul Fataawaa (10/615)
50. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 4/146/no.232)
51. Reported by Muslim (Eng. Trans. 2/501/no.2287)
52. Reported by Ahmad and others
53. From Ibn Rajab's explanation (sharh) of this hadîth
54. Reported by al-Bukharee (8/50/80)
55. Reported by Muslim (4/1362/no.6226)
56. Reported by Ahmad (6/446 and 448)
57. Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and others, with weak chain of narration.
58. Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd in at-Ta'aalam wa Atharuhu 'alal Fikr wwal Kitaab (p.7)
59. Reported by Muslim (4/1381/no.6350)
60. Sharul 'Aqeedatit Tahaawiyyah (p.379)
61. Soorah al-Israa (17):36
62. Sharul 'Aqeedatit Tahaawiyyah (p.325)
63. Reported by al-Baihaqee in az-Zuhdul Kabeer (no.191)
64. Reported by Ahmad and others. See hadîth 22 of 40 hadîth on the call to Islâm and the caller
65. Muslim (Eng. Trans. 4/1471/no.6752)
66. Reported by ad-Daarimee (1/64), al-Laalikaa'ee (no.123), al-Haakim(4/514) and others, with saheeh chain
of narration

Source: http://forums.almaghrib.org/attachment.php?s=06a942bb97e1890828fd9ab16f8acd9e&attachmentid=7654

Got Manners? by Sheikh Kamal el Mekki (3 Parts)

Anger Management

Finding Faults!

Backbiters Beware!

Respect (3 Parts) by Aisha Stacey

Part 1

The condition of being honored, esteemed, or well regarded. This is the most commonly understood definition of respect. In fact, the thesaurus goes on to describe respect as a courteous regard for peoples feelings and links respect to honor, kindness, obedience and tolerance. So what is the role of respect in Islam? Islam states that it is the responsibility of each individual to treat all of creation with respect, honor and dignity. The most deserving of respect is the Creator Himself. Respect begins with loving and obeying the commandments of God and from this respect, flows all the manners and high standards of morality that are inherent in Islam.

“And whosoever obeys God and His Messenger, fears God, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.” (Quran 24:52)

To be one of those who are successful, Islam requires that each individual learn to obey the Creator and thus treat humankind, our environment, the believers and ourselves with respect. Bearing in mind that the believers are one nation, and if one part of the nation is in peril so too are all its parts, respect for each other is essential. Islam teaches us that we are held accountable not only for our thoughts and actions but for the influence we have over others and the creation. Islam asks us to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. Islam binds respect to peace, love and compassion, all attributes of the One God, therefore to fulfill our obligation to honor and obey God one must respect the honor, reputation and privacy of others. Respect involves staying completely away from the major sins of backbiting, lying, slander, and gossip.

Respect for humanity means staying away from sins that will sow discord among the people and lead to destruction. Respect includes loving for our brothers and sisters what we love for ourselves. Respect involves treating others the way we expect to be treated and the way we hope God will treat us, with compassion, love and mercy. Major sins put a barrier between humanity and God’s mercy and cause all the torment, misery and evil in this world and the hereafter. God commands us to stay away from sin and to strive against our own destructive character flaws. He also singles out suspicion, backbiting and gossip as bringing about nothing but shame and disgrace.

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God. Verily, God is the One who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (Quran 49:12)

Ibn Abbass, a companion of Prophet Muhammad and Quran commentator, said God forbade backbiting just as He forbade the eating of dead flesh. Eating dead flesh is something that people naturally have abhorrence to and they should have the same natural abhorrence to backbiting one another. Respect involves caring for one another, not shredding characters the way carrion would shred a dead animal.

Backbiting

Some people might say that backbiting is merely words and ask what harm it can do. Words are indeed powerful and have far-reaching effects. In addition to the obvious lack of respect involved in back biting, mere words cause pain to the one maligned and consign the backbiter to the fires of Hell. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, warned us of the fate awaiting those who utter disrespect. He said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west.” [1]

On one occasion, a close companion of the Prophet inquired how he could be admitted into Paradise and distanced from the Hellfire. Prophet Muhammad mentioned the virtues of good deeds and asked his companion if he desired to know the foundation of good deeds. The companion answered “certainly”, whereupon Prophet Muhammad took a hold of his own tongue and said, “Restrain yourself from this”. The companion asked incredulously “are we held accountable for the things that we say?” Prophet Muhammad replied that nothing sends people into the hellfire faster than the “harvest of their tongues”. [2]

Having established that backbiting is anything but mere words how can we define exactly what it is. Backbiting is talking about somebody in a derogatory way or in a way that would not be pleasing to the one being spoken about. It is called back biting because it is usually done when the person being maligned is absent or “behind his back”. Prophet Muhammad defined backbiting as “to mention about your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him”. [3] Imam an-Nawawi commented that backbiting included “what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him. It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly by indication or a gesture…”

In the same saying mentioned above, the Prophet Muhammad was asked about backbiting in relation to truthful comments. He explained the severity of backbiting, and explained the difference between it and slander, by saying, “If what you said about your brother is true, then you have backbitten him. If what you said about him is false, then you have slandered him”. [4] Slander is making a false statement; it is a major sin and deserves a severe punishment. God says in the Quran: “And those who malign believing men and women undeservedly bear upon themselves the guilt of slander and a manifest sin.” (33:58)

In another narration of Prophet Muhammad, his beloved wife Aisha made a comment about one of her co-wives by describing her as short, or small in stature. Prophet Muhammad responded in a way that made clear the severity of her words. He said, “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it.” [5]

Backbiting has become so widespread nowadays that people use it as a way of expressing anger and jealousy. Those who engage in it are disrespecting God by disobeying Him and harming others. Magazines and television shows are devoted to gossiping and prying into the private lives of others. There is no respect for privacy, and contrary to popular belief, the lives of others are not source material for gossip sessions. The person who habitually engages in backbiting and gossip and who does not struggle against his desires and begs for God’s forgiveness has lost all respect for himself for he no longer fears the fires of Hell. The sin is grave, the punishment severe, but God is Merciful and always accepts sincere repentance.

“...if any of you does evil in ignorance, and thereafter repents and does righteous good deeds (by obeying God), then surely, He is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Quran 6:54)

Footnotes:
[1] Saheeh Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim
[2] at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah
[3] Saheeh Muslim
[4] Ibid
[5] at-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood

Part 2

In this new century punctuated by astounding technological advancement and instant global communication, it has become commonplace to hear people talk about respect, or lack of it. One hears about respect for the environment, respect for other cultures and religions, respect for each other and the catch cry of the 21st century - self respect. We lose respect for our politicians and governments, we gain respect for our sporting heroes and actors. We try to respect our planet by turning off taps and unnecessary lights. We complain bitterly about our lives and the lack of respect we feel at home and at work. We live in a topsy- turvy world where we talk reverently of actors who give charity to drought ravaged countries while we throw food into garbage bins. We shed tears over drug-addicted singers yet step over the homeless cluttering our streets. We respect the learned men that warn us of global warming but we ignore the commandments of our Creator. We understand the significance of respect but we are unable to attain it. For many of us the essence is lost!

How can we regain this lost quality of respect that for many of us is seemingly unattainable? Simply by following God’s commandments and worshipping Him accordingly. God says in the Quran that He created mankind for no reason except to worship Him. (Quran 51:56) Worshipping God is showing Him the respect He deserves. Worshipping God makes it possible for us to treat all of mankind with respect, it allows us to treat the environment with respect and it gives others permission to respect us. There are no human beings more worthy of our respect then those whose piety and closeness to God is obvious. In the previous article we discussed the dangers inherent in backbiting and gossip, and how those who engage in such behavior have lost respect for themselves and more importantly, for God.

As human beings, we all must struggle against our base desires and one of the hardest sins to resist is gossiping about others. However, to worship and love God in the correct way it is imperative that we try to rid ourselves of the evil of backbiting. One way to clear ourselves of this ignoble character trait is to cultivate closeness to God by reflecting upon the verses of the Quran and sayings of Prophet Muhammad that remind us of God’s punishment and encourage us to repent.

“Or do they think that We hear not their secrets and their private counsel? (Yes, We do) and Our Messengers (appointed angels in charge of mankind) are by them, to record.” (Quran 43:80)

Prophet Muhammad encouraged us to feel shame before God; He said, “Feel shame before God as you ought to feel shame before Him. So guard the head and what it contains, guard the stomach and what you put in it, and think upon death and returning to dust.” [1] We should feel this shame whenever we backbite, and take the opportunity to reflect upon what we loose if we engage in this behavior. We loose the essence of respect.

Disrespect is not part of Islam

Prophet Muhammad was continually teaching his companions and reminding them about the seriousness of disobeying God. In many sayings, he explains the grave consequences of not respecting the rights of others. He said, “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers is he who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, charity, and fasting to his credit. However, he had insulted this person, struck that person, and seized the wealth of another, because of which his good deeds will be taken from him. Then, if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them and foisted upon him and then he will be cast into the Fire.” [2] A true believer strives to improve himself and is aware of his responsibility to protect others rather than disrespect them. In Islam, believers do not disrespect each other nor do they tolerate disrespect towards their brothers and sisters.

Another quick and easy way to protect ourselves from the evils of gossip and backbiting is to stay away from those who engage in it. God says in the Quran: “And when they hear dirty, false, evil vain talk, they withdraw from it and say, "To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant.” (Quran 28:55)

Prophet Mohammad placed great emphasis on being around righteous people rather then those who occupy their time with vain, useless activities or talk. He said, “The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a person carrying musk and another who works the bellows. The person carrying musk might give you some of it or at the very least, you will enjoy the pleasant scent. The person with the bellows will either singe your clothing or at least make you suffer from the bad smell.” [3]

Keeping company with righteous people helps one to avoid backbiting and gossip because caring friends will remind each other of the evils and punishments associated with such behavior. It is also useful to reflect on our own shortcomings and character flaws rather then gossip about the faults of others. The great scholar, Hasan al-Basri said: “We used to remind each other that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin that he had repented from, God will punish him by having him fall into that sin himself.”

Having established that backbiting and gossip are great sins, the scholars of Islam have explained however, that there are certain conditions under which it may be permissible to talk about the faults and characteristics of others. [4] It is allowable for one who is being oppressed to inform the authorities of the wrongs being committed against him. It is allowable for those who see vice to inform those who are capable of removing it. It is also allowable to mention people’s faults when seeking sincere religious advice from those qualified to give it. It is permissible to mention someone by describing them (blind, deaf, in a wheelchair etc) as long as it is not done in a belittling or mocking fashion. Lastly, it is not allowable to hide the character faults of a person known to you from those seeking marriage or business advice.

Careful analysis of the above conditions reveals that respect is inherent in these exceptions. To oppress someone is to disrespect them, to commit vice is to disrespect the community and to deceive people who ask for sincere advice is also a form of disrespect. If we feel ourselves disrespected then we should look to our own sins and turn to God in repentance. If the essence of respect is missing in our lives then we can regain it by worshipping God with full submission. Islam insists that we show respect for God, by obeying Him and to obey Him inherently means respecting others and ourselves.

Footnotes:
[1] At Tirmidhi
[2] Saheeh Muslim
[3] Ibid.
[4] Fataawa Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’ (26/10)

Part 3

In the previous articles about respect, we discussed how respect for each other, our environment and ourselves was inherent in the religion of Islam. The concept of treating ourselves and everything around us with respect is not possible without complete submission to God, and without understanding how and why we surrender to His will. God reminds us in the Quran that our sole purpose in life is to worship Him.

“And I (God) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (alone).” (Quran 51:56)

Worshipping God does not mean spending the entire day in one place praying, it does not mean that we neglect the life of this world in favor of a life of seclusion; what it means is that we fulfill our obligations towards God and attempt to have Him constantly on our minds and tongues. The mundane tasks of life become worship when they are done to please our Creator. When we fulfill our obligations such as to pray, fast, and give charity, it becomes worship when done with a sense of gratitude and humbleness. God does not need us, for He is Self-Sufficient and Omnipotent. We are the ones in need of Him. He is the reason for our existence and He is the foundation on which we should build our lives.

Lives lived without purpose lead to nothing but loss.

“By the time! Man is in loss, except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience.” (Quran 103: 1-3)

However, filling our lives with purpose enables contentment and this allows us to show respect for each other and ourselves. Respect for God means obeying Him. Obeying God means we are in the enviable position of being worthy of others respect. Failure to surrender to God leads to lives devoid of respect. Treating each other with contempt, gossiping and backbiting shows a lack of respect in our lives. Engaging in the great sins of lying, spying on others and using bad words also means we are not worthy of being shown respect to by others.

Lying

Lying is one of the major reasons for corruption in society. Any form of lying creates enmity and sews disrespect between people, but the most obnoxious form of lying is to falsely attributing things to God or to his Prophets and Messenger. Islam forbids lying and enjoins the believers to be truthful. The words of the Quran testify to this. God says, “O you who believe! Be wary of God, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds).” (Quran 9:119) and “…who does more wrong than one who invents a lie against God, to lead mankind astray without knowledge?” (Quran 6:144)

In his narrations and sayings, Prophet Muhammad often exhorted his followers to adhere to honesty and stay away from the vices inherent in lying. He said, “Beware of telling lies, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to the hellfire.” [1]

Even one of his greatest enemies attested to the fact that Prophet Muhammad was truthful and commanded truthfulness. Abu Sufyan [2], although despising the Prophet, revealed that he commanded his follows to pray, to be truthful and to uphold the ties of kinship. [3]

Spying

Prophet Muhammad warned his followers of the evils of spying on others when he said, ‘Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the falsest of speech. Do not eavesdrop; do not spy on one another; do not envy one another; do not forsake one another; do not hate one another. Be, O slaves of God, brothers.” [4]

Indeed God himself has reminded us to avoid suspicion. He said, “Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not…” (Quran 49:12)

In Islam, it is not permissible to search for or reveal the secrets of others. Spying and all it involves, such as eavesdropping and asking too many private questions, is forbidden because it involves disrespecting the private lives of others by disobeying God.

The great and well respected Caliph Umar ibn Abdul-Azeez said to someone who passed on malicious gossip to him: “If you wish, we can look into the matter. If you are lying, you will be one of the people mentioned by God in the verse, “If a rebellious evil person comes to you with news, verify it, lest you harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful of what you have done.” (Quran 49:6) If you are telling the truth, you will be one of the people mentioned in the verse, “A slanderer, going about with calumnies.” (Quran 68:11) Or if you wish, we will forgive you”. He said, “Forgive me, O leader of the believers, I will never do it again.”

Lying, gossiping, slandering and spying are great sins, so to is using bad words.

Foul Language

Bad words show disrespect to those being spoken about and a total lack of self-respect. Reviling, insulting, cursing and rudeness, these are bad words and they usually are uttered when someone is overcome by anger. Anger is an emotion that may open the doors to all kinds of evil and disrespect. It can sometimes result in breaking the bonds of goodwill and even destroy family relationships. Anger can even move beyond just using insulting words and cause one person to physically harm another.

Prophet Muhammad was not a person to use insulting words or obscene language and he did not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke someone he would say, “What is wrong with him? woe to him!” [5] The true believer, the one submitted to God, must learn to control his tongue and not speak unless he says something good. In his sayings, Prophet Muhammad reminds us that whoever believes in God and the last day (or day of judgment) must speak good or keep silent [6]. He said trading insults with a believer was evil, fighting was minor disbelief and cursing a believer was like killing him. [7]

Stern words indeed, they leave no room for misinterpretation. Bad words lead to evil doing and ultimately punishment. God reminds us that the best speech is the remembrance of God because it brings contentment and a sense of peace.

“… verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” (Quran 13:28)

A person who keeps himself busy doing good deeds and seeking God’s pleasure is a person who knows the meaning of respect.

Footnotes:
[1] Saheeh Muslim
[2] In the early years of Islam, Abu Sufyan was an avowed enemy of Prophet Muhammad and Islam; however, after the conquest of Mecca he embraced Islam.
[3] Saheeh Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim
[4] Saheeh Muslim
[5] Saheeh Bukhari
[6] Saheeh Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim
[7] Saheeh Bukhari

Source: http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/1721/viewall/